Chicago 4th of July: A Festitive Fireworks... Display of Gunfire?
Ah, the 4th of July. A time for barbecue, beaches, and...well, if you're in Chicago, maybe a healthy dose of dodging bullets.
Reports on the exact number of people shot over that long weekend vary wildly, depending on who you ask. The Chicago Police Department might give you a vague shrug and a "enough." But hey, that's not what investigative journalism is all about, right? Here's a look at what some of the reports were saying:
- "Chicago 4th of July: A Celebration of Freedom... with a Side of Gunfire!" (This headline might be slightly exaggerated. Unless your idea of freedom involves running a bullet marathon.)
- "Is it even a Chicago Holiday if There Aren't Fireworks...and Gunfire?" (Look, at least it's festive, right?)
Now, before you cancel your trip to the Windy City and book a relaxing weekend in, say, Switzerland, here are some helpful tips for tourists visiting Chicago over the 4th of July:
- Duck. Seriously, just duck. This isn't a joke. Practice your best crouching techniques beforehand, because you never know when they might come in handy.
- Maybe skip the fireworks and go to a museum instead. The Field Museum has some truly excellent dinosaur exhibits.
- Fashion sense is optional, safety is mandatory. Consider rocking a bulletproof vest. Who needs Gucci when you have survival skills?
Looking on the bright side (because hey, optimism is key), maybe next year will be better. Or maybe not. That's the beauty (and danger) of Chicago!
But hey, at least you'll have a story to tell. Just make sure it involves dodging bullets and not becoming one.
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