So, About Those 2023 Florida Shootings... Buckle Up, Buttercup
Florida. The Sunshine State. Land of beaches, theme parks, and...apparently a whole lot of shootings in 2023?
Yeah, that number was a doozy. We're talking mass shootings, folks, not just your friendly neighborhood firecracker incident (though those can be startling too, let's be honest).
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How many, you ask? News outlets clutched their metaphorical pearls at the record-breaking 28 mass shootings. That's right, 28! More than a month's worth of Mondays. More than there are flavors of Gatorade (and let's face it, that's a lot).
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Hold on, isn't a mass shooting like, a super big deal? Uh, yeah. Generally involves at least 4 people getting shot, often fatally. Not exactly a day at the beach.
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So, what's the deal with Florida? Look, we love sunshine and flip-flops as much as the next state, but maybe there's a little too much heat down here. Maybe it's the humidity making tempers flare. Maybe everyone's just really hangry because they can't find decent Cuban food past 9 pm. Who knows?
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The good news? 2024 seems to be a little calmer...so far. Maybe everyone took a nap and chilled out after that wild year.
But seriously, this is kind of a bummer topic. You got that right. Look, we can't sugarcoat it, but hey, at least we can acknowledge the elephant in the room, right?
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go stock up on pool noodles. Apparently, those double as pretty decent bulletproof vests in a pinch. Just kidding...mostly.
How-To FAQ on Florida and Firearms (Because Apparently We Need One):
- How to avoid getting shot in Florida? Don't wear a giant neon sign that says "SHOOT ME." Seriously though, staying out of sketchy situations is a good first step.
- How to deal with the stress of living in a place with a lot of shootings? Therapy is always a good option. Also, cute animal videos. Lots and lots of cute animal videos.
- How to get involved in gun violence prevention efforts? There are tons of organizations working on this. Do some research and find a cause that speaks to you.
- How to tell the difference between a mass shooting and a regular shooting? Generally, a mass shooting involves multiple victims and often happens in a public place.
- How to make Florida a little less...shooty? That's the million-dollar question, isn't it? If we figure it out, we'll let you know.
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