Howdy Partners, Hold Your Horses! Let's Talk Houston Weekend Shootings...Maybe
Alright folks, gather 'round for a little chat about what went down in H-Town this weekend. Now, before you all start thinking this is gonna be a news report filled with more dramatizations than a telenovela, let me assure you, this is gonna be a laugh-a-minute kinda thing...well, hopefully more chuckles than cries.
So, the big question on everyone's mind: How many bangs did we hear this weekend? Well, since the Houston PD keeps that kinda information tighter than Fort Knox, we gotta do some good ol' fashioned guesstimating.
Here's how it might have gone down:
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Scenario 1: Houston Goes Hippie & Hugs It Out - Maybe aliens swapped everyone's six-shooters for fuzzy slippers and everyone spent the weekend harmoniously crocheting potholders. In this case, the number of shootings would be a delightful ZERO.
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Scenario 2: Weekend Warriors Take it Easy...ish - Maybe folks toned it down a notch. A sprinkle of gunfire, you know, like 10 pew- pews max. This scenario lands us somewhere between 1 and 10 on the shoot-out scale.
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Scenario 3: Hold on to Your Stetsons, It's a Rootin' Tootin' Shootout! Alright, alright, alright, maybe things got a little out of hand. We're talking somewhere in the 10 to 50 range for number of shootings. Yikes! But hey, at least we can offer some chamomile tea for all those frayed nerves.
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Scenario 4: Dodge This! dramatic music intensifies Houston transformed into a real-life action movie? If the number of shootings is over 50, well, then y'all need to put down the lead pipes and take up nerf guns. Seriously, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye...or several.
Look, here's the truth. Gun violence is no laughing matter. But sometimes, a little humor can help us cope with the absurdity of it all. Let's hope next weekend's soundtrack is more Kenny Chesney concert and less Wild West showdown.
