Chicago Weekend Shot Tracker: Did Someone Order a Side of Bullets with Their Fries?
Disclaimer: Numbers may be slightly exaggerated to emphasize the importance of staying indoors.
Hey there, citizens of the windy city! Buckle up, because it's time to take a lighthearted (and hopefully safe) dive into how many shots rang out across Chicago this past weekend.
So, how many bangs did our ears endure?
Well, according to our highly sophisticated (cough) weekend shot tracker, we're looking at a grand total of approximately... drumroll please... a whole lotta shots.
Now, before you reach for the bubble wrap and inflatable neck pillows, we can't give you an exact number. But let's just say it was enough to make some folks wonder if there was a surprise target practice competition going down in the city.
Interpreting the Shot-tacular Data
Here's the thing: Chicago's got a bit of a reputation when it comes to weekend gunfire. So, if the number seems a little high, well, that's because it probably was.
- Less than a symphony of gunfire (under 1500 shots): Hey, that's not too bad! Maybe we can celebrate with a socially distanced pizza party.
- A standard Chicago weekend (between 1500 and 2500 shots): Well, that's about par for the course. Stay safe out there, folks, and maybe invest in some good noise-canceling headphones.
- Yikes, that was a shoot-out (over 2500 shots): Looks like some folks were a little trigger-happy this weekend. Time to break out the bubble wrap and inflatable neck pillows.
The End? Not Quite.
Look, here at the Chicago Weekend Shot Tracker (patent pending, don't steal our idea), we know gun violence is no laughing matter. But a little humor can go a long way, right?
On a serious note, let's work together to make next weekend a little quieter. Stay safe, Chicago!
