The Great Speakeasy Census: Counting Cats in a Crowded Alleyway (or Bars During Prohibition)
Ah, Prohibition. A time when bathtub gin flowed like...well, not exactly like water, but it flowed! And where did thirsty New Yorkers quench their boozy desires? In the shadowy, password-protected dens of iniquity known as speakeasies, of course! But just how many of these hidden watering holes were there? That, my friends, is a question that has baffled historians and drunk historians (possibly the most important kind of historian) for decades.
Estimates That Would Make Your Liver Weep
Trying to pin down a number is like trying to count pickpockets in a crowded subway. We're talking about illegal establishments that thrived on secrecy. No flashy neon signs, no glowing Yelp reviews (although imagine the reviews: "One star! The bathtub gin gave me a headache that could rival the stock market crash!"). The more speakeasies there were, the harder it was for the fuzz (that's 1920s slang for police, by the way) to shut them all down. So, buckle up, because we're diving into the murky waters of speakeasy statistics:
- The Conservative Count: We'll start with a number that wouldn't make a bartender bat an eyelash: 20,000. That's a respectable amount of hidden bars, enough to keep New York's flappers and fellas well-lubricated.
- The Mob's Math: But some folks scoff at such a measly number. They point to the influence of organized crime, who, let's be honest, probably had a better handle on speakeasy real estate than anyone. Estimates from this camp reach a dizzying 32,000!
- The "We're Counting Basements Too" Theory: Then there are those who believe the true number could be as high as 100,000! They reason that speakeasies weren't just swanky clubs with velvet ropes. They were hidden everywhere - backrooms of barber shops, converted apartments, even that creepy antique store on your block (although, maybe that's just still a creepy antique store).
The Bottom Line (Under a Fake Floorboard)
So, what's the real number? The truth is, we'll probably never know for sure. But hey, that doesn't mean we can't have fun guessing! Here's the important takeaway: There were a LOT of speakeasies in New York City during Prohibition. Enough to make F. Scott Fitzgerald blush, and enough to give Al Capone a serious case of heartburn (from all that bad booze, you know?).
How To: Unsolved Speakeasy Mysteries (For Entertainment Purposes Only)
Alright, alright, we know you're not about to open a secret bar in your basement (or maybe you are, no judgment here). But just for fun, here are some speakeasy-related "How To" questions:
- How To Talk Your Way Into a Speakeasy (if you had a time machine): Learn the password! Dress snazzy (fedoras are a plus). Be prepared to bribe the bouncer with a good joke or a shiny pocket watch.
- How To Make Your Own Bathtub Gin (Again, for entertainment purposes only): Don't. Seriously. Just don't. There's a reason they called it bathtub gin.
- How To Find a Modern-Day Speakeasy: Keep an eye out for unmarked doors, hidden entrances in flower shops, or that vintage clothing store with a suspiciously large selection of trench coats. (But seriously, these places usually have websites these days).
- How To Throw a Speakeasy-Themed Party: Get creative with cocktails (good ones, though!), dim the lights, put on some jazz music, and encourage your guests to dress to impress (flapper dresses and gangster suits optional, but highly encouraged).
- How To Learn More About Speakeasies: Hit the books (or the internet)! There are tons of fascinating resources about Prohibition and these hidden gems of the roaring twenties.
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