The Great LSU vs. Texas Football Showdown: A Tale of Not-Quite-So-Epic Proportions
Ah, college football. A pantheon of pageantry, pigskin, and passionate fans. But sometimes, amidst the rivalries that echo through the ages, there are those matchups that leave you scratching your head and wondering, "Wait, those two teams have played each other?" This, my friends, is the curious case of LSU and Texas.
Wherefore Art Thou, Texas?
Let's be honest, LSU fans are more likely to be chased by a rogue crawfish po'boy than encounter a Longhorn on the gridiron. These two programs reside in different conferences, separated by a swath of states and a whole lotta cultural differences (sweet tea vs. iced tea, anyone?).
A Brief History of Almost-Meetings
There have been whispers, rumors even, of potential LSU-Texas clashes. Some historians claim they almost met in a never-materialized bowl game back in the Paleozoic Era (give or take a few million years). Bold whispers, that is.
The Reality Check: A Number You Can Count On One Hand (Maybe)
Here's the truth, folks, delivered straight from the research vault (also known as Google): LSU and Texas have played a grand total of zero, zilch, nada times. That's right, you could count the number of meetings on one hand... with all your fingers tucked firmly in your palm.
So, Why All the Fuss?
Because dear reader, in the absence of actual games, the possibility of an LSU-Texas matchup becomes a tantalizing what-if scenario. Imagine the gumbo meeting the barbecue! The roar of Tiger Stadium battling the cheers of Darrell K Royal-Texas Memorial Stadium! It'd be a clash of titans...well, maybe more like a friendly spar between titans and their slightly-less-titan-sized neighbors.
The Future: A Glimpse into the Maybe-Kinda-Possible
With conference realignment being a constant threat (or promise, depending on your perspective), who knows what the future holds? Maybe one day, our grandchildren will witness the spectacle of LSU taking on Texas. Or maybe not. But hey, a man can dream, can't he?
In Conclusion: A Toast to the Unplayed Games
So, here's to the LSU-Texas matchup that never was (yet?). May it forever live on in the realm of college football fantasy, a testament to the strange and wonderful possibilities this sport can conjure. Just remember, when someone asks how many times these two teams have played, the answer, for now, is a resounding "Not a single time, bless their little cotton hearts!"