The Burning Question: How Many Zaxby's Does Texas Deserve? (Spoiler Alert: It's Not Enough)
Ah, Texas. Land of wide-open spaces, ten-gallon hats, and... a surprising dearth of Zaxby's? That's right, folks, the chicken finger connoisseur's paradise seems to be spreading slower than molasses in January across the Lone Star State. But fear not, fellow fried-food fanatics, because we're about to dive headfirst (with a side of crinkle fries, naturally) into the crucial question: just how many Zaxby's are gracing Texas with their presence?
The Numbers Don't Lie (But They Might Make You Cry)
Brace yourselves, because this next part might sting worse than a forgotten order of Nuclear sauce. As of May 2024, there are only around 23 glorious Zaxby's locations scattered across the vast expanse of Texas. That's right, 23. For a state that practically invented the concept of "bigger is better," this number seems downright puny.
Do the Math (and Weep): With a population of roughly 29 million, that means there's a measly one Zaxby's for every 1.26 million Texans. That's a lot of folks going hungry for their Zax Sauce fix.
A Conspiracy of Epic Proportions? (Probably Not, But It Sounds Fun)
Look, we're not pointing fingers (yet), but there has to be a reason for this Zaxby's shortage. Here are a few wacky theories to keep us entertained:
- The Texas Toast Mafia: A shadowy cabal of breakfast enthusiasts is ruthlessly keeping Zaxby's out, fearing their fluffy Texas toast will put local bakeries out of business.
- The Great Buffalo Wing Caper of '97: A long-forgotten dispute between Texas ranchers and Zaxby's founders over the proper wing-to-ranch dressing ratio still holds a grudge.
- Aliens (Because Why Not?): Let's face it, maybe Zaxby's chicken fingers are just too darn good, and extraterrestrials are hoarding the secret recipe for intergalactic snacking.
A Call to Action (and Maybe a Road Trip?)
While the truth remains a mystery, one thing is clear: Texas deserves more Zaxby's. We, the fried-food freedom fighters, must band together and demand our fair share of chicken fingers and crinkle fries. In the meantime, a road trip to a neighboring state with a healthier Zaxby's population might be in order.
Remember: Sharing is caring, but when it comes to Zaxby's, possession is nine-tenths of the law (and the other tenth is dipping sauce). Let's keep the dream alive, Texas. One day, every corner will boast a beacon of Zaxby's glory, a monument to our collective love for perfectly fried chicken. Until then, we fight the good fight (and maybe sneak a few extra napkins for all that Zax Sauce).
