The Existential Crisis of Owning a Piece of Paper (Especially When It Comes to Pennsylvania Birth Certificates)
Ah, the birth certificate. That magical document that proves you emerged from the womb, not a particularly enthusiastic baked potato (although, no judgment on spud-based life choices). But before you can proudly hold aloft this certificate and declare, "Behold! Proof of my existence!", there's a tiny hurdle: how much does the darn thing cost in the state of Pennsylvania?
The Cost of Paperweight Potential (or Not-So-Paperweight Potential)
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Fear not, fellow Pennsylvanian! A certified copy of your birth certificate will set you back a cool $20. Think of it as an investment in your own identity. Like that fancy coffee you need every morning, but way less likely to induce a caffeine jitters-fueled existential meltdown (hopefully).
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But Wait, There's More! (Because Apparently Birth Certificates Aren't That Straightforward)
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Now, if you're the online-ordering kind of person (because who wants to leave the house when pajamas are an acceptable outfit?), there's a $10 processing fee tacked on to that $20. So, for the privilege of clicking a few buttons, you'll be shelling out $30. Hey, at least you saved yourself a trip to the post office, right? Unless of course, you forget to wear pants while said online ordering is happening, and then you have a whole other set of existential woes to deal with.
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Important Side Note: Not Everyone Pays the Same
For our friends in uniform, there's a fee waiver available. Because hey, defending our freedom shouldn't come with the added burden of expensive birth certificates, right? Also, there are some other, more specific fee-waived paper applications. But for the rest of us mere mortals, it's the $20 or $30 route.
FAQ: Your Burning Birth Certificate Price Inquiries Answered
- How to order a birth certificate online? Head over to mycertificates.health.pa.gov and get clicking! Just remember, it's credit card payment only for online orders.
- How to order a birth certificate by mail or in person? You can find the application form and mailing address on the Pennsylvania Department of Health website https://www.health.pa.gov/topics/certificates/Pages/Birth-Certificates.aspx. Don't forget to include a check or money order for $20 (unless you qualify for a fee waiver).
- How long does it take to get a birth certificate? Allow yourself 3-4 weeks for processing, because apparently, bureaucracy isn't exactly known for its speedy Gonzales approach.
- How to find out if I qualify for a fee waiver? The Pennsylvania Department of Health website https://www.health.pa.gov/topics/certificates/Pages/Birth-Certificates.aspx has all the info you need.
- How do I prove I exist if I lose my birth certificate? This might be the time to question your life choices, but fear not! You can order a replacement birth certificate following the same steps above.
So there you have it! The not-so-secret world of Pennsylvania birth certificate prices. Now you can go forth, armed with this knowledge and your newfound proof of existence (because apparently, a birth certificate is the only thing separating you from baked potato status).