So, You Wanna Join the Chicagoland Equinox, Huh? Let's Talk Breadwinning
Ever felt the sudden urge to sculpt your bod amongst Chicago's elite? Do you crave the satisfaction of knowing your workout gear costs more than most people's rent? Well, my friend, you've probably set your sights on Equinox, the gym of the rich, the famous, and those who like fancy soap dispensers in the locker room.
But before you dust off your Lululemon and mentally rehearse your "business casual" elevator pitch, a crucial question lingers: how much does this sculpted utopia actually cost?
Buckle Up, Buttercup, It's a Tiered System (Because Obvi)
Equinox, bless its heart, doesn't do things like "one-size-fits-all." No, sir, they offer a delectable smorgasbord of membership tiers, each with its own price tag that could make your wallet weep. Here's a rundown to quench your thirst for knowledge (and prepare your bank account for a potential cold shower).
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Select Access: This is your "basic" option, granting access to a single Chicago club. But hey, "basic" here probably means heated towel service and a juice bar with kale in more forms than you knew existed. Price? We're talking somewhere in the ballpark of $185 a month. Not bad...for a private jet.
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All-Access: Feeling fancy? This bad boy lets you roam wild in any of the 80+ Equinox locations across the US and Canada. Think of it as a gym membership that doubles as a frequent flyer program for fitness fanatics. Just be prepared to cough up around $315 a month.
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Destination Access and Beyond: These get progressively pricier, offering access to all clubs with some fancy exclusions (like that swanky one in Hudson Yards, NYC). Prices here range from $345 to a cool $405 a month. Because apparently, some gyms are worth more than a mortgage payment.
But wait, there's more! Don't forget the initiation fee, a delightful little hurdle that can range from $175 to who-knows-what depending on the membership level and your negotiation skills (because yes, apparently, haggling is an option at Equinox).
The Verdict: Is It Worth It?
Look, here's the truth. Equinox isn't your average gym. It's a luxury experience, and you're paying for the top-notch facilities, the trendy classes, and the chance to rub shoulders with, well, people who can afford to rub shoulders at Equinox.
So, is it worth it? That depends entirely on your budget and priorities. If you have the cash to spare and crave a fitness environment that feels more like a five-star hotel than a gym, then hey, go for it. But if you're on a tighter budget and just want a place to lift some weights, there are plenty of fantastic gyms in Chicago that won't require a second mortgage.
Ultimately, the decision is yours. But hey, at least now you know what you're getting into (and how much it'll cost ya).
