So, You Wanna Be a High-Rollin' Larceny Larry in Florida, Huh? Hold Your Horses (Unless They're Worth Over $750)
Let's face it, we've all absentmindedly walked out of a store with a forgotten pack of gum or that irresistible (yet totally overpriced) bag of chips. But what if you're looking to "borrow" something a tad more substantial? That, my friend, is where the thrilling (and slightly sketchy) world of grand larceny comes in. But before you suit up in your black turtleneck and grab your grappling hook (leaving those under $750, of course), there's a crucial question to answer: How much is grand larceny in Florida, anyway?
The Dollar Bill Dilemma: How Much is Too Much to "Borrow"?
In the Sunshine State, the line between petty theft (a misdemeanor) and grand larceny (a felony with much steeper consequences) is drawn at a cool $750. That's right, swipe anything below that and you might get a slap on the wrist, but steal a slightly used jet ski and you're in for a whole different kind of wave.
Now, Florida law loves its categories (almost as much as theme parks), so grand larceny gets further divided into degrees depending on the value of the stolen goods:
- Third-degree grand larceny: This is your "basic" grand larceny, applying to items between $750 and $悻 [insert symbol for $20,000] (don't worry, stealing math symbols is not a crime...yet).
- Second-degree grand larceny: Feeling a little more ambitious? This fancy title applies to pilfering goodies worth 悻 [insert symbol for $20,000] to $悻 [insert symbol for 悻 [insert symbol for $100,000]. A private island, perhaps?
Important Side Note: Florida law also considers certain stolen items grand larceny regardless of value, like cars, firearms, and even a suspiciously large haul of citrus fruits (don't mess with Florida's oranges!).
FAQs for the Aspiring "Borrower" (But Seriously, Don't Steal)
How to avoid grand larceny charges altogether? This one's a no-brainer: Don't steal! It's not only morally wrong, but it can land you in a heap of trouble.
How to determine the value of an item? Retail price is usually a good starting point, but for pricier items, appraisals might be necessary.
How to get help if you're facing grand larceny charges? Contact a lawyer ASAP. They're your best bet for navigating the legal system.
How to channel your inner Robin Hood ethically? Volunteer at a charity or donate to a good cause. Helping others is much more rewarding (and legal) than stealing.
How to impress your friends with completely legal feats? Learn a magic trick or master the art of juggling flaming chainsaws (safety first, folks!).