So You Wanna Join the Houston Racquet Club: Your Guide to Not Looking Like a Dollar Short (Well, Maybe a Few Dollars)
Let's face it, Houston is hot. Like, literally, it's a furnace most of the year. But even when it's not, you gotta find a way to stay cool. Enter the Houston Racquet Club, a haven for the privileged, the sweaty (us), and anyone who appreciates a good backhand.
But before you dust off your finest whites (or whatever the tennis uniform these days is), the big question looms: How much is this gonna cost me?
Buckle Up, Buttercup: Initiation Fees That Will Make Your Eyes Water
Alright, I won't sugarcoat it. Joining the Houston Racquet Club ain't exactly a trip to the discount tennis ball store. The initiation fee? Let's just say it's enough to buy you a decent used car (with questionable mileage, but hey, transportation is transportation). We're talking in the ballpark of $10,000, folks. Ouch.
Now, here's the good news (sort of): That price might jump to $12,000 soon, so if you're feeling spontaneous, this might be your lucky day? Not really, but hey, every cloud...
Monthly Dues: A Nickel and a Dime (More Like a Few Hundred Dimes)
Once you've coughed up the initiation fee and maybe sold a kidney on the black market (kidding... mostly), there's the small matter of monthly dues. They'll set you back a cool $355. For that price, you'd better believe the hand towels are monogrammed with your initials (and maybe even come with a complimentary butler to fan you during matches).
But Wait, There's More! (Because Apparently There Always Is)
Of course, there's always a chance you might want to, you know, actually play tennis. Lessons and court time are extra, so factor those into your budget. Also, if you're feeling peckish after working up a sweat, that poolside lunch ain't gonna pay for itself.
The Verdict: So, is it Worth It?
Honestly, that depends. The Houston Racquet Club offers a swanky atmosphere, top-notch facilities, and maybe even a chance to rub shoulders with Houston's elite (if that's your thing). But let's be real, for most of us, that initiation fee is a one-way ticket to Ramen Noodle Night for a year.
My advice? Unless you're a tennis prodigy with a trust fund, maybe start with that public court down the street. Who knows, you might even make some friends who can't afford the fancy club either. Just be sure to bring your own monogrammed hand towel (because apparently, that's important).