So You Want to Park Your Precious Metal Chariot at O'Hare? Buckle Up!
Ah, Chicago O'Hare Airport. A glorious hub of international travel, culinary delights (deep dish, anyone?), and...well, let's be honest, sometimes a bit of a parking nightmare. But fear not, intrepid traveler, for I, your trusty guide (with a maybe-reliable sense of humor), am here to navigate the wild world of O'Hare parking costs.
The Great Divide: Short-Term or Long-Term?
First things first, are you jetting off for a weekend getaway or embarking on an epic journey that would make Bilbo Baggins jealous? This, my friend, is the million-dollar question (well, maybe not a million, but definitely enough for a decent souvenir).
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  Short-Term Parking: A Breath Minty Affair (Unless You Forget Where You Parked) Need a quick spot for your trusty steed while you grab a dunkin' (or three) and catch your flight? The Main Garage offers hourly rates, though be warned: it can feel like they add a buck every time you blink. Think $3 for the first hour, then a steady climb that would make Everest look like a gentle slope. 
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  Long-Term Parking: The Land of Shuttles and (Hopefully) Reasonable Rates Headed off on a month-long adventure to, well, anywhere that isn't O'Hare? The economy lots (F, G, and H) are your best bet. Daily rates range from "not too shabby" at $15 to "eh, it could be worse" at $22. There's also the Multi-Modal Facility (MMF), offering covered parking and a free 24-hour shuttle service to the terminals. Just remember, forgetting your car in the MMF is a rite of passage some travelers experience. 
Luxury Lots: For When Money is No Object (or You Just Really Love Valet)
Feeling fancy? O'Hare has you covered (literally, with valet service) with lots A, B, and C. But be prepared to loosen your purse strings – we're talking baller status at a cool $42 a day.
International Lot D: A Price Tag That Makes You Want to Fly Private
Park here for a quick international jaunt and you might as well just buy a plane ticket for your car. At a whopping $77 a day, this spot is best reserved for those who forgot to sell a kidney before their trip.
But Wait, There's More! (Because Apparently Parking is Complicated)
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  Off-site Parking: The Thrifty Traveler's Ally Consider exploring off-site parking options! Often, you can snag a great deal with a quick shuttle ride to the airport. Do your research and compare rates – you might be surprised! 
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  Special Events: Brace Yourself Big convention or concert in town? Parking prices might take a nosedive towards "highway robbery." Plan accordingly! 
The Final Takeaway: Park Smart, Don't Panic
With a little planning and this handy guide, you can navigate the O'Hare parking maze without wanting to pull a "Home Alone" Kevin McCallister on unsuspecting airport employees. Remember, a little research can save you a big chunk of change, leaving you with more money for that deep dish you've been craving. Happy parking, and safe travels!