The Deep Dive: Why is My Shower So Expensive? A Chicagoan's Guide to Water Bill Woes
Let's face it, Chicagoans are tough. We brave brutal winters, celebrate with dyed rivers, and somehow find deep dish pizza delicious at 3 am. But there's one mystery that chills us to the bone (almost as much as a Lake Michigan dip in February): the dreaded water bill.
The Windy City's Water Rates: A Waterfall of Confusion
Chicago's water rates are like a magician's act - full of smoke and mirrors. There's a base rate, a sewer rate (which basically doubles the water rate, fun!), and then whispers of meter status (metered vs. unmetered, a whole other can of worms). The average Chicagoan can expect to pay around $40 a month, but that number is about as stable as a politician's promise.
Metered vs. Unmetered: A Tale of Two Cities (or One City, But You Get It)
Living in a metered building means you only pay for the water you use, like some kind of hippie water conservationist. This is usually the cheaper option, unless your teenagers discover the joys of a 3-hour shower while listening to whale sounds. Unmetered buildings, on the other hand, split the water bill amongst residents like a lukewarm pot of lukewarm deep dish. This can be a gamble, especially if your neighbor has a personal aquatic center in their basement (hey, we all have hobbies).
Pro Tip: Check your building status. Is it a mister or a gusher? Knowing your meter situation is the first step to unraveling the water bill enigma.
So, How Much Should My Water Bill REALLY Be?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind (or gushing out of your faucet). Here's a handy dandy guide (with a healthy dose of speculation):
- The Minimalist: $20 a month (Congratulations, you probably shower with a thimble and wear clothes for a week straight!)
- The Average Joe: $40 a month (You shower daily, maybe water your plants, and occasionally wash a dish that isn't disposable.)
- The Aquatic Enthusiast: $100+ a month (Do you have a pool you fill daily? Is there a small child who believes baths are a form of aquatic playtime? If so, this might be you.)
Remember, these are just estimates. Your water bill could be higher than a Kardashian's hair extension bill, or lower than the number of times the Cubs win the World Series (too soon?).
Final Thoughts: How to Survive the Chicago Water Bill Onslaught
- Track your usage: Keep an eye on that meter (if you have one) and see if any mysterious spikes occur.
- Shower power: Reduce your shower time (unless you're belting out show tunes, in which case, carry on).
- Leak detectors: A leaky faucet is like a tiny Scrooge, stealing your money one drip at a time.
- Embrace the cold: Embrace the invigorating (or teeth-chattering) world of a cold shower. You'll save money and maybe even wake yourself up in the morning!
Chicago's water bill may be a mystery, but with a little know-how and some water-saving tricks, you can conquer this financial beast. Remember, knowledge is power, and a lower water bill means more money for deep dish (or whatever floats your boat... literally).
