The Mormon Church: Florida's Accidental Land Baron?
Ever wondered who owns more land in Florida than Mickey Mouse himself? Buckle up, buttercup, because we're diving into the surprising world of the Mormon Church's real estate portfolio in the Sunshine State.
Land, Land, Glorious Land!
That's right, folks. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) holds the title of Florida's biggest private landowner. We're talking about a whopping over 2% of the state's total landmass. That's enough space to house a whole lotta baptismal fonts, or maybe a family-friendly theme park called "Deseretland" (patent pending).
How'd They Do It? The Deseret Ranches Caper
The story starts back in 1950 with a place called Deseret Ranches, a sprawling property in central Florida encompassing nearly 300,000 acres. Think cattle, citrus groves, and enough farmland to make a farmer weep tears of joy (or maybe fertilizer runoff... jury's still out). But Deseret Ranches was just the beginning. In 2013, the church upped the ante by acquiring a massive chunk of timberland in the Panhandle, adding another 380,000 acres to their collection.
So, What's the Deal with All This Land?
There are a few theories. Some say the church is preparing for a zombie apocalypse (doubtful, they seem pretty well-stocked on Twinkies already). Others believe they're just savvy investors, playing the long game on future development (though theme park with a giant Jello mold centerpiece is still the dream).
The truth is likely a combination of factors, including food production, self-reliance principles, and, let's be honest, maybe a touch of "just because we can."
Frequently Asked Questions (Because Let's Face It, You're Curious)
How to move to Deseret Ranches and become a Mormon cowboy?
Hold on there, partner. Residency isn't exactly advertised on Deseret Ranches' website (shocking, we know).
How to convince the Mormon Church to buy my swamp land?
Let's be real, unless your swamp boasts a hidden temple or a particularly charismatic bullfrog prophet, your chances are slim.
How to develop my own theme park based on the Book of Mormon?
We like your chutzpah! But seriously, legal hurdles abound. Maybe start with a lemonade stand themed around the Liahona (it's a compass, look it up).
How to grow my own orange grove?
Now you're talking! Florida's agricultural extension service has all the info you need. Just don't expect the Mormon Church to lend you a tractor (unless you become BFFs with a bishop, no guarantees).
How to find out more about the Mormon Church?
The friendly folks at LDS.org are a great place to start. Who knows, maybe you'll discover a love for both scripture and citrus.
