The Great Chicago Rat Census: We Tried Counting, We Really Did (But Mostly Just Saw Pizza)
Ah, Chicago. City of wind, stunning architecture, and...well, let's not sugarcoat it, an abundance of furry little friends most folks would rather avoid. But just how abundant are these "friends"? More numerous than deep dish pizzas delivered this past weekend? That's the question that keeps sleep at bay for exactly zero people, but plagues the minds of curious (and slightly terrified) Chicagoans.
Fear not, intrepid internet adventurer! We embarked on a quest to answer the age-old question: How many rats are scuttling around the Windy City?
Methodology (Kind Of)
Now, some folks might think this requires fancy lab coats and high-tech rat traps. But us? We went with a more casual approach. We spent a delightful afternoon people-watching (and, ahem, avoiding) in Millennium Park, sporting our finest "official rat census taker" t-shirts (made with questionable felt and a hot glue gun). Here's what we learned:
- For every tourist asking for directions, there are 3.7 suspicious movements in the bushes. (Okay, that might be squirrels, but you never know.)
- The number of complaints to Chicago's 311 hotline about rats would fill a small swimming pool. (We didn't actually count them, but trust us, it's a lot.)
- Local hot dog vendors hold a surprising amount of knowledge about rat behavior. (Turns out, they're not big fans of ketchup.)
Based on our rigorous scientific research (and the slightly horrified look on a jogger's face when a rat darted past), it's safe to say the rat population in Chicago is substantial.
Here's What the "Experts" Say (Boring, But Probably Accurate)
While our method might not win any science awards, there are actual experts who've attempted a headcount. Orkin, a well-known pest control company, has consistently ranked Chicago as the number one rattiest city in the US for nine years running. Ouch. They estimate there could be around 6.5 rats for every Chicagoan. That's like having a personal six-and-a-half-member rat entourage following you around.
So, the Verdict?
There are a whole lot of rats in Chicago. Enough to make even the most die-hard deep dish fan reconsider their next late-night snack run. But hey, that's just part of the charm of this great city, right? Just remember to keep your pizza boxes sealed tight, folks. Those little rascals have a nose for a good slice.
