The Great New York City Snow**...Wait, What?**
Did you wake up this morning expecting to build a snowman in Central Park? Did you dust off your snow boots in a pre-apocalyptic frenzy only to be greeted by sunshine? Well, fret not, fellow New Yorkers, because the answer to the question on everyone's mind (well, maybe not everyone's) is this: New York City received approximately zero point zero inches of snow yesterday.
That's right, folks. Mother Nature decided to play a cruel joke, teasing us with the possibility of a winter wonderland before delivering a reality check in the form of a crisp spring day.
But Wait, There's More! (Because There Always Is)
For those of you residing in the far-flung reaches of the five boroughs, fear not! Your fringe-dwelling brethren may have gotten a slightly more exciting experience. Reports indicate a dusting in some areas, with whispers of a whole snowflake or two in others.
Here's a quick and totally unscientific breakdown:
- Central Park: More like Central Park-ing lot, with nary a snowflake in sight.
- Upper West Side: Residents reported a vague sense of disappointment, possibly due to the lack of snow or the absence of a decent bagel.
- Staten Island: Unconfirmed rumors of a single snowflake sighting, but this could be due to overconsumption of disco fries.
Important Note: The above information is purely for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as gospel.
So, What Do We Do Now?
Well, now that you've donned your snow boots in vain, you have a few options:
- Embrace the sunshine! Head to a park, have a picnic, pretend you're on a beach (just don't wear a swimsuit, that would be weird).
- Channel your inner Elsa and build a "snowman" out of sand. It won't win any awards, but hey, it'll keep the kids entertained.
- Stock up on rock salt. You never know when a rogue snowstorm might decide to grace us with its presence. (Just kidding...mostly.)
FAQ: How to Deal with Your Post-Snowfall Disappointment
How to properly dispose of unused snow boots?
Store them away carefully for next winter (or a particularly enthusiastic Halloween costume).
How to convince my kids that a sandy snowman is totally legit?
Distraction is key! Promise them ice cream afterwards, and suddenly that pile of sand will become the coolest snowman ever.
How to explain the lack of snow to my dog who was very excited about the forecast?
Tell them it's a special kind of snow that only invisible dogs can see. They'll buy it.
How to overcome the urge to yell at the sky?
Retail therapy is always a good option. Or, you know, take a deep breath and channel your inner zen.
How to prepare for the next "potential" snowstorm?
Stock up on movies, snacks, and cozy blankets. Because honestly, that's the best part of a snow day anyway, right?
