Who Rules the Burgundy and Gold? A Hilarious History of Washington Commanders Ownership
Ah, the Washington Commanders. A team steeped in history, passionate fans, and...well, let's just say a carousel of ownership that's been wilder than a Beyblade tournament. Buckle up, Skins fans (or Commanders fans, I guess we're doing that now) for a crash course in who's called the shots for your beloved burgundy and gold.
From George Preston Marshall to Jack Kent Cooke: The OG Days
We start in the way-back machine, with a guy named George Preston Marshall. Now, Marshall was a real piece of work, but hey, at least he founded the team in 1932. Then came Jack Kent Cooke, who swooped in like a sugar daddy in the 1980s, showering the team with TLC (and a fancy new stadium).
The Snyder Years: Enter the Rollercoaster
Then came Daniel Snyder in 1999. Let's just say Snyder's reign was like that haunted mansion ride at the state fair – exciting, terrifying, and leaving you with a confused sense of what just happened. The team went on a wild ride, with some decent seasons sprinkled amongst…well, let's be honest, a whole lot of "hold my beer" moments. There were cheerleading scandals, controversial name changes, and enough drama to fill a Shakespearean play (although, with better costumes).
QuickTip: A short pause boosts comprehension.
The Harris Era Dawns: A New Hope (Hopefully)
Finally, in 2023, salvation arrived in the form of Josh Harris. Harris, a businessman with a passion for football, swooped in and bought the team for a cool $6.05 billion. Can he turn things around? Only time will tell, but hey, at least the team is now in the hands of someone who seems to genuinely care about winning and, you know, not causing scandals.
Fun Fact: During the Snyder Era, the Washington Post ran a "Sell the Team" banner on their website for years. Let's just say that banner is no longer there.
## Frequently Asked Questions (Because Let's Be Honest, You're Curious)
QuickTip: Use posts like this as quick references.
How to become the owner of the Washington Commanders?
This one's a tough one, buddy. You'd need a spare $6 billion lying around and the patience of a saint (to deal with all the, ahem, passionate fans).
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How to win over the new owner, Josh Harris?
Here's a pro-tip: Try not to wear a giant foam cheesehead to the games. Cheeseheads are for Packers fans, and cheering for the wrong team is a surefire way to get on the wrong side of any owner.
Tip: Pause if your attention drifts.
How to tell the difference between the Washington Commanders and literally any other NFL team?
Look for the burgundy and gold. That, and the passionate fans who can recite every questionable coaching decision from the past 20 years.
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| How Owns The Washington Commanders |
How to know if you're dreaming?
QuickTip: Scan for summary-style sentences.
If Dan Snyder is back as owner, then yes, you're definitely dreaming.
How to celebrate the new era of Washington Commanders football?
Responsibly. But seriously, cheer loud, wear your jersey with pride, and here's hoping for a winning season (finally!).
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