So You Want Your Fancy New York Felony to Disappear Like a Houdini Act? ♀️
Let's face it, a felony on your record can be a real drag. It follows you around like a stubborn shadow, messing with your job prospects and making you jump through hoops when renting an apartment (who knew goldfish needed references these days?). But fear not, fellow New Yorker! There's a light at the end of the not-so-glamorous tunnel – record sealing.
But It Ain't Like Erasing a Magic Marker Drawing, Folks
There are hoops to jump through, yes, but with some know-how and a dash of perseverance, you might just be able to get that pesky felony tucked away. Here's the lowdown:
- Time is Your Friend (As Long As You're Not Stealing It): You gotta wait at least 10 years after your sentence is up (or you get released from the clink, whichever is later) before you can even think about sealing. So, use that time wisely! Take up underwater basket weaving, learn how to juggle flaming chainsaws (responsibly, of course!), or finally write that screenplay about your (hopefully) reformed life of crime. 
- Two or Fewer Felonies? You're in the Game: This ain't a free-for-all. You can only have two convictions total, and only one of those can be a felony. If you're sporting a collection of convictions longer than your rap sheet, you might be out of luck. But hey, there's always hope for an expungement down the line (that's a whole other legal rodeo, though). 
- The DA Might Play Hardball: Once you've got your ducks in a row, you gotta convince the District Attorney's office that you've turned over a new leaf. Be prepared for them to grill you like a well-seasoned steak. 
- Papercuts, Glorious Papercuts: There will be forms. Lots of forms. Get ready to channel your inner bureaucracy-buster and fill out every little detail with the precision of a brain surgeon. 
Tip: Summarize the post in one sentence.
| How To Get A Felony Sealed In New York | 
Victory Lap Time! (Maybe)
If all the stars align and the judge smiles upon you, your record gets sealed. This means it's hidden from most public view, making it much easier to get that dream job or snag that swanky apartment (with or without a pet goldfish).
Tip: Keep scrolling — each part adds context.
But Remember, Sealing Ain't Forgiveness
Just because your record is sealed doesn't mean it's gone forever. Certain folks, like law enforcement and potential employers in specific fields, might still be able to see it. So, don't go blabbing that your record is spotless when it's not. Honesty is always the best policy, even if the policy involves a little legal Houdini magic.
Bonus Round: How To Seal Your New York Felony Like a Boss
Tip: Each paragraph has one main idea — find it.
How to Find Out if You're Eligible?
  Check with a lawyer or head to the New York State Courts website (https://www.nycourts.gov/).
How to Get Those Fancy Forms?
  The New York State Courts website has them all! Just search for "Sealing Criminal Records."
How Much Does it Cost?
  Thankfully, there's no filing fee to apply for record sealing.
Tip: A slow skim is better than a rushed read.
How Long Does it Take?
  The whole process can take anywhere from a few months to a a year, so be patient, grasshopper.
Do I Need a Lawyer?
  While not mandatory, a lawyer can be a huge help, especially if your case is complex.
So there you have it! With a little effort and a whole lot of patience, you might just be able to make that pesky felony disappear. Now go forth and conquer the world (legally, of course)!