Infiltrating the Grand Washington Hotel: A Guide for Not-So-Secret Agents (We Won't Tell Benitez)
Ah, the Grand Washington Hotel. Once a symbol of luxury, now a post-apocalyptic playground for Hyenas and the occasional rogue cleaner with a grudge. But fear not, fellow Agent, for this guide will equip you with the knowledge (and maybe a mop) to navigate this hostile hospitality.
 |
| How To Get Into Grand Washington Hotel Division 2 |
Step 1: Suit Up (But Maybe Ditch the Tie)
This ain't your momma's fancy dinner, folks. We're talking bulletproof vests, high-powered weaponry, and a healthy dose of skepticism towards complimentary mints. Remember, this hotel has seen better days, so structural integrity is a maybe. Pack light – you'll be dodging debris and lead pipes faster than you can say "room service."
Subheading: Pro-Tip: Avoid the bellhop. Trust us, a friendly greeting might be a trap (or worse, small talk).
Tip: Focus on sections most relevant to you.
Step 2: Finding the Not-So-Grand Entrance
Forget the revolving doors. Your entrance will be a bit more...explosive. Head to the east side of the building and look for a conveniently placed crater (courtesy of Mrs. Benitez). Just be sure to, you know, not become another crater inhabitant.
Subheading: Alternative Entrance (for the Adventurous Agent): Feeling fancy? There's a laundry chute you can shimmy down (just watch out for rogue socks).
Reminder: Revisit older posts — they stay useful.
Step 3: Enemy Du Jour: Not Your Average Housekeeping Staff
The cleaning crew at the Grand Washington Hotel has seen some things. Expect heavily armed Hyenas, crazed Outcasts with a grudge against spotless carpets, and maybe even a rogue Roomba gone rogue. Remember, grenades are your friend, and strategically placed cleaning supplies can be surprisingly effective.
 |
Subheading: Public Service Announcement: Please don't litter. The post-apocalypse is messy enough already.
QuickTip: Don’t just scroll — process what you see.
Step 4: Taking the Scenic Route (or Not)
There's no concierge to point you in the right direction, so get ready for some exploration. Head towards the roof – that's where the VIPs (Very Important Prisoners) are holed up. Just follow the sounds of gunfire and Eleanor Sawyer's increasingly desperate pleas for help.
Subheading: Alternate Route (for the Leisurely Agent): Who says saving the world can't be relaxing? Take a dip in the (probably not chlorinated) pool. You deserve a break!
Tip: Reread key phrases to strengthen memory.
How to FAQs for the Aspiring Agent:
- How to Get Past the Lobby Explosion? Dodge, dip, dive, duck, and dodge! (Seriously, good reflexes are key.)
- How to Deal with the Laundry Chute? Go slow, and maybe bring some hand sanitizer. (Those socks have seen things.)
- How to Identify Rogue Cleaning Supplies? If it throws flames or shoots bullets, it's probably not a mop.
- How to Find the Roof? Follow the screams. Lots of screams.
- How to Get Out Alive? Shoot first, ask questions later. And maybe pack some bandages.
Remember, Agent, staying alive is the ultimate hotel amenity. Good luck, have fun (questionable advice in this situation), and try not to leave a bad review on Yelp.
 |
