Cracking the Code: How to Infiltrate the Halls of St. John's School (Without Actually Stealing the Declaration of Independence)
Let's face it, getting into St. John's School is harder than pronouncing Worcestershire sauce the first time. But fear not, intrepid applicant! With a sprinkle of brainpower, a dash of dazzling personality, and maybe a pinch of good luck (because hey, even superheroes need a boost sometimes), you too could be roaming the hallowed halls of St. John's.
Step 1: Becoming BFFs with Deadlines (or at least acquaintances)
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The Application Avalanche: Bold December 1st is your new best friend (or worst enemy, depending on your procrastination tendencies). Get that application in early so it doesn't get buried under a mountain of other hopefuls. Remember: punctuality is the thief of time...wasted applications.
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ISEE? More Like I-Need-to-Ace-This-Test!: This standardized test is your chance to showcase your academic prowess (or at least your ability to take a really good guess). Brushing up on those math skills and reading comprehension might be a good idea. Think of it as a mental obstacle course...with a very important prize at the end (hopefully not a participation trophy).
Step 2: Unleashing Your Inner Superstar (Without the Cape)
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The Interview: Showtime! This is your opportunity to shine brighter than a disco ball. Be yourself, but the most awesome version of yourself. Hot Tip: Practice your handshake (no limp fish here!) and think of interesting things to say besides "um" and "like."
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Teacher Recommendations: Turning Educators into Fanatics (Okay, Maybe Not Fanatics, But Enthusiastic Supporters Will Do) Ask your favorite teachers for recommendations. Friendly Reminder: Don't be that student who waits until the last minute. Give your teachers ample time to write glowing remarks about your brilliance (or at least your occasional moments of brilliance).
Step 3: The Waiting Game (May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor)
This is where the deep breaths come in. Try to channel your inner zen master while you wait for the admissions decision. Just a heads up: This might involve refreshing your email like a hawk refreshing for a sale at your favorite online store.
Bonus Round: Unconventional Strategies (Use at Your Own Risk)
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Befriend a Squirrel: Squirrels seem to be everywhere at St. John's. Maybe if you can communicate with them in their secret nut language, they'll put in a good word for you. Disclaimer: I cannot guarantee the effectiveness of this method.
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Perfect your interpretive dance routine: Who knows, maybe the admissions committee is looking for a well-rounded applicant with artistic flair. Just be prepared to explain the deeper meaning behind your interpretive dance about the history of the stapler.
Remember: Getting into St. John's is a marathon, not a sprint. Stay focused, be yourself, and good luck! With a little hard work and maybe a touch of squirrel whispering (optional), you might just find yourself cracking the code and becoming a part of the St. John's legacy.
