So You Want to Be in the Times (Literally, Not Literally a Time Machine)? A Guide to Getting a New York Times Obituary
Let's face it, folks, kicking the bucket isn't exactly a barrel of laughs. But hey, if you're gonna go, why not go out with a bang? And by bang, I mean a classy, beautifully written obituary in the esteemed New York Times! Now before you start practicing your ghostly haunting material, here's the down-low on how to secure your spot in journalistic history (well, obituary history, anyway).
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| How To Get A New York Times Obituary |
First Things First: Are You Dead?
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This might seem obvious, but it's surprisingly important. The New York Times isn't in the business of premature obituaries (although that would make a killer reality show, am I right?). So hold off on submitting your life story until you've shuffled off this mortal coil.
Tip: Slow down at important lists or bullet points.
Okay, You're Officially Ex-Living. Now What?
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There are two main paths to New York Times obituary glory:
- The DIY Approach: You, or someone you've designated as your literary executor (fancy term for obituary writer), can craft a masterpiece yourself. Just remember, keep it factual, but feel free to add a dash of humor! Who says obituaries can't be fun? (Though maybe avoid going full-blown stand-up routine.)
- The Legacy.com Route: If writing isn't your forte, fear not! Legacy.com offers a service to help you place an obituary in the New York Times. Think of them as the Sherpas of the obituary world, guiding you to the summit of journalistic recognition.
Pro-Tip: Whichever route you choose, be sure to include all the good stuff: your amazing accomplishments, your quirky hobbies (competitive thumb-twiddling champion, anyone?), and of course, the names of all your surviving relatives (so they know you haven't forgotten them... entirely).
Frequently Asked (and Slightly Morbid) Questions
- How do I write a funny obituary? Keep it lighthearted, but respectful. Focus on anecdotes and inside jokes that your loved ones will appreciate.
- How much does a New York Times obituary cost? Legacy.com charges a fee for their services, but the exact cost depends on the length and features of your obituary.
- How long will my obituary be online? Obituaries placed through Legacy.com are available permanently on their website.
- Can I write my own obituary in advance? Sure! Just be sure to update it as your life progresses (unless you plan on achieving immortality, in which case, congrats!).
- Will getting a New York Times obituary make me come back as a ghost? While we can't guarantee ghostly results, a snazzy obituary is a pretty darn good way to be remembered.
There you have it! With a little planning and maybe a dash of gallows humor, you can secure your place in the New York Times. Now go forth and live (or, well, you know...) legendary!
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