Conquering the "Road to the Sky": A (Mostly) Hilarious Guide to Driving Up Mount Washington
Ah, Mount Washington. Home to the world's worst weather (don't worry, we'll get to that), the coolest bragging rights this side of the Mississippi (or maybe the entire Mississippi?), and a very twisty, turny road that begs the question: "Can my car and I handle this?"
Fear not, intrepid adventurer! This guide will equip you with the knowledge (and maybe a dash of Xanax) to navigate the legendary Mount Washington Auto Road.
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| How To Drive Up Mount Washington |
Gearing Up for Greatness (or Minor Carmageddon)
First things first, you'll need a car. Preferably one that doesn't throw a temper tantrum every time you hit a bump. Seriously, consider your vehicle's fitness level. Is it a trusty steed or a balky donkey? If it's the latter, maybe this adventure is best left to those who enjoy replacing clutches.
QuickTip: Don’t skim too fast — depth matters.
Next, check the weather. Mount Washington is famous for its, ahem, enthusiastic weather patterns. We're talking hurricane-force winds, sideways snow in July, and the occasional rogue cloud that steals your hat. Dressing in layers is key, and don't forget the sunglasses – you might need them to see through the tears of joy (or terror) you'll be crying.
Pro tip: Download the Mount Washington Auto Road app. It's like having a sarcastic sherpa in your pocket, dispensing witty advice and real-time weather updates.
Tip: Share one insight from this post with a friend.
Taming the "Road to the Sky" (Emphasis on Maybe)
The road itself is a marvel of human engineering (and questionable sanity). It's steep, it's narrow, and it has more switchbacks than a politician. Pay attention to the speed limits. Going too fast is a recipe for disaster (and a hefty fine). Use low gear on the way down. This will save your brakes from turning into molten lava.
Be aware of your surroundings. There aren't any guardrails on most of the road, so don't get too close to the edge unless you're auditioning for a remake of The Cliffhanger. Let slower drivers pass, and pull over at designated turnouts to enjoy the spectacular (and sometimes terrifying) views.
QuickTip: Reread for hidden meaning.
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Summit Smackdown: Victory or existential dread?
Congratulations! You've made it to the top! Now, you get to experience the joys of Mount Washington's notorious summit weather. Bundle up, because chances are you'll be greeted by windchills that could make a polar bear reconsider its life choices.
Take lots of photos. Document your triumph over the mountain (or at least your attempt at triumph). Just don't drop your phone – there's a good chance it'll become a permanent resident of New Hampshire.
QuickTip: Look for contrasts — they reveal insights.
Be mindful of the time. The summit parking lot closes promptly, and nobody wants to spend the night huddled with a bunch of shivering strangers (although, it could make for a great story).
How To: Conquering Mount Washington Like a Boss
FAQ:
- How much does it cost to drive up Mount Washington? Check the Mount Washington Auto Road website for current rates, but budget for a toll and maybe a therapy session afterward.
- How long does it take to drive up Mount Washington? The drive itself takes about 30 minutes, but factor in stopping for photos and potential summit freak-outs.
- Can I bring my pet? Leave Fido at home. Pets aren't allowed on the Auto Road.
- What should I wear? Dress in layers, with a waterproof outer shell. Don't forget gloves, a hat, and sunglasses (seriously).
- Is it scary? Maybe a little. But mostly exhilarating (or at least that's what you'll tell everyone later).
So, there you have it! With a little preparation (and a healthy dose of humor), you can conquer the mighty Mount Washington. Just remember, it's not about the destination, it's about the hilarious stories you'll tell about almost driving off a mountain.
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