The Breakup is Real: How to Remove Someone From Your Costco Membership (Without Needing Bulk-Sized Tissues)
Let's face it, Costco memberships are sacred. They're the gateway to rotisserie chicken nirvana, endless samples (free lunch, anyone?), and enough toilet paper to last a zombie apocalypse. But hey, sometimes relationships fizzle out, even with a Costco membership. Maybe your roommate skipped out on their share of the Kirkland Signature paper towels one too many times, or perhaps your exercise-obsessed ex keeps swiping your membership card for those protein bars (we feel you). Whatever the reason, it's time to cut the cord (or at least the plastic).
The Great Unscannable: Signs They Need Their Own Costco Card
- You keep finding questionable protein powder containers lurking in the back of the pantry. (Seriously, was whey even using that?)
- Your carefully curated pallet of toilet paper resembles a toddler's art project.
- You hear the dreaded words, "Hey, is it cool if I use your Costco card again this week?" ...for the tenth time this month.
The Parting of the Ways: How to Say "See Ya Later" to Your Costco Companion
There are two painless paths to Costco membership singledom:
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- The Phone Call of Freedom: Dial 1-800-774-2678 and prepare for a (hopefully) painless conversation with a friendly customer service rep. Be polite, but firm. They might try to lure you back with whispers of discounted bulk candy, but hold strong! Remember, you deserve your own rotisserie chicken-fueled destiny.
- The Membership Desk Manoeuvre: Head to your local Costco, sporting your most resolute athleisure. Locate the membership desk and politely inform them of your desire to ditch your Costco co-pilot. Bonus points: Treat yourself to a giant churro afterwards. You deserve it.
Important Side Hustle: Don't forget, if you're the primary member, removing someone from your account also means their Costco cash card rewards go bye-bye too. Just sayin'.
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| How To Remove Someone From Costco Membership |
Frequently Asked Questions (Because We Know You Have Them)
How to avoid an awkward Costco breakup?
Clear communication is key! If you see the signs of a Costco co-pilot headed for splitsville, have an honest conversation about expectations and maybe a budget for those protein bars.
QuickTip: Read in order — context builds meaning.
How long does it take to remove someone from my membership?
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It's a pretty quick process. Both the phone call and the in-person visit should have you uncoupled in Costco terms within minutes.
How will they know their Costco card is no good anymore?
QuickTip: Scroll back if you lose track.
The beauty (or awkwardness, depending on your perspective) is that their card won't be magically deactivated. The first time they try to use it, the scanner will politely (but firmly) inform them the card is inactive.
How do I know if I'm the primary member?
The primary member is the one who signed up for the membership in the first place. If you're unsure, a quick call to customer service can clear things up.
QuickTip: Read line by line if it’s complex.
How can I get my own Costco membership (because bulk discounts are awesome)?
Head to your local Costco or visit https://www.costco.com/join-costco.html to sign up for your very own membership. Remember, with great bulk buying comes great responsibility (and a potentially overflowing pantry).
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