So You Need a New Garbage Can? Don't Trash the Idea of Getting Help (See What We Did There?)
Living in Chicago? Great city, amazing food, and...oh right, the occasional garbage situation. Hey, it happens to the best of us. But when your trusty garbage can kicks the bucket (or, more accurately, meets its overflowing demise), you might be wondering, "How do I get a new one in this concrete jungle?" Well, fret no more, because this guide is here to turn your frown upside down (and your overflowing garbage bag situation into a distant memory).
Step 1: Accept There's No Shame in the Garbage Can Game
First things first, let's ditch the stigma. Needing a new garbage can doesn't make you a messy monster (although, if you are one, we're not here to judge...just maybe up your recycling game?). A broken can happens. Maybe a rogue squirrel decided it was a jungle gym, or perhaps a family of raccoons held a particularly rowdy game of "King of the Can." Whatever the reason, you deserve a proper receptacle for your domestic discards.
Step 2: Dial Up the 3-1-1 (Because Who Wants to Text About Trash?)
There are two main ways to request a new garbage can from the Department of Streets and Sanitation (DSS, our sanitation superheroes). The first and easiest is to dial 3-1-1. It's like magic! You speak into a tiny device, and a friendly voice on the other end helps you with your garbage woes.
Pro Tip: If you're feeling fancy, you can also submit a request online through CHI311. It's the same basic idea, but with more clicking and less talking.
Step 3: Prepare for Your Garbage Can Close-Up (Just Kidding, But Be Ready)
When you contact 3-1-1 or use CHI311, be prepared to answer a few questions about your garbage can situation. They might ask:
- Are you missing a Moustache-Twirling Villain stealing your garbage can or is it just broken? (We might have embellished that villain part, but you get the idea.)
- How many carts are you missing? (Hopefully, just the one!)
- When did you first notice your garbage can woes? (Be honest, even if it was during the Great Pizza Box Avalanche of 2024.)
They may also ask for your address and contact information. Just think of it as a chance to build a rapport with the DSS!
Step 4: The Waiting Game (But Hopefully Not for Too Long)
Once you've submitted your request, it's time to patiently wait for your new garbage can to arrive. The good news is that it usually only takes 2-3 weeks. The bad news? Those weeks can feel like an eternity, especially if you're currently living in a world dominated by overflowing grocery bags.
Here's a fun way to pass the time: Try naming your current, broken garbage can something ironic. "Sir Lancelot the Slightly Broken" or "The Once and Future Can" both have a nice ring to them.
Step So Fresh and So Clean, Clean (We Hope!)
And there you have it! With a little know-how and maybe a dash of humor, you'll be back to properly disposing of your garbage in no time. Remember, a clean garbage can is a happy garbage can, and a happy garbage can makes for a happier Chicago (and maybe fewer rogue squirrels with a taste for can-climbing).
💡 This page may contain affiliate links — we may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
