Hanging Up Your Cleats: The Not-So-Official Guide to Retirement in MLB The Show 21
Ah, retirement. The golden years. A time for rocking chairs, grandkids, and reminiscing about those towering dingers you launched back in the day (or those embarrassing strikeouts, we don't judge). But hold on a sec, you're a superstar in MLB The Show 21, and retirement in this digital diamond seems about as likely as a squirrel piloting a blimp.
So, how do you actually call it quits in this game? Buckle up, because here's the hilarious truth:
- There is no official retirement option. Apparently, San Diego Studio didn't anticipate anyone wanting to walk away from a career filled with adoring fans, monstrous contracts, and questionable calls by the ump (seriously, that was a ball!).
- Your agent is a terrible retirement planner. Don't expect them to nudge you towards a rocking chair and prune juice. They'll just keep asking if this is your "final year," year after year, like a broken record with a serious case of amnesia.
But fear not, weathered veteran! Here's your not-so-official guide to faking retirement in MLB The Show 21:
Reminder: Take a short break if the post feels long.
- Become the Baseball Methuselah: Play for an absurd number of seasons. Aim to break Ty Cobb's record... and then some. By the time you're pushing 50, your reflexes will be like molasses in December, and even the bat boy will be questioning your life choices. This might get you benched (finally, some peace!), essentially forcing retirement.
- Tank Your Stats: Who needs a farewell tour when you can have a farewell nosedive? Strike out every at-bat, whiff on every pitch thrown. Become the human equivalent of a black hole, sucking the joy out of every game. Eventually, your team might just... well, let you go.
- Fake an Injury (Kind Of): Nobody wants to see a legend go out with a whimper, but a "career-ending" (air quotes very much intended) injury might be your ticket. Just be careful not to overdo it. Nobody wants animal cruelty charges for faking a sprained hammy thanks to overzealous controller throws.
Remember, these are just suggestions! There's no right or wrong way to unofficially retire in MLB The Show 21. Just unleash your inner troll (or weary grandpa) and have some fun with it.
## Frequently Asked Retirement Questions (The Unofficial Edition):
QuickTip: Look for contrasts — they reveal insights.
How to know when it's time to retire? Easy. When your agent finally remembers your name and asks if you're ready to retire... for the 100th time.
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How to ensure a proper send-off? There's no post-game ceremony or emotional speeches, but you can always gather your virtual teammates and celebrate your "retirement" with a rousing game of mini-golf (because why not?).
Tip: Absorb, don’t just glance.
How to spend your post-baseball life? Invest in a virtual beachfront property, buy a lifetime supply of sunflower seeds for all those virtual games you'll be attending, or maybe even become a coach and terrify the younger generation with tales of your glory days (even if they were slightly exaggerated).
How to avoid the urge to come out of retirement? Simple. Just fire up your favorite classic baseball movie. Remembering the grueling training montages and the constant pressure will quickly remind you why retirement is pretty darn sweet.
QuickTip: Skim slowly, read deeply.
How to officially retire in MLB The Show 21 (since there isn't one)? Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. This is your chance to rewrite the retirement narrative. Make it legendary, even if it's completely unofficial.
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