So You Want to Hang Up Your Manager's Whistle? A (Slightly) Dignified Guide to Retiring in FIFA 23
Ah, the beautiful game. You've conquered leagues, hoisted trophies, and maybe even unleashed a tactical masterclass that would make Pep Guardiola weep. But even the most legendary managers eventually call it a quits. Maybe you've squeezed every ounce of glory from your current save, or perhaps the board's constant meddling has you yearning for a simpler life (like competitive tiddlywinks, perhaps?). Whatever the reason, here's your guide to a graceful (or gloriously dramatic) exit from the managerial hot seat in FIFA 23.
Step 1: Accepting the Inevitable (or Planning Your Dramatic Exit)
Face it, champ, you can't micromanage wonderkids forever. Your reign will eventually end, either through a blaze of glory (winning the Champions League with a team of rejects) or a whimper (getting sacked after losing to a team in the relegation zone with a name you can't pronounce). The key is to control the narrative.
Planning a dramatic exit? Leak a scathing tell-all book about the board's incompetence to the press. Demand a transfer for yourself (yes, really!). Just make sure you have a decent lawyer on retainer, because this might get messy.
Want a more dignified exit? Announce your retirement at the end of the season, going out on a high note (hopefully with a trophy in hand). This gives the board time to find a suitable replacement (and maybe even throw you a cheesy retirement party with lukewarm buffet food).
Step 2: Leaving a Legacy (or at Least Not Burning Bridges)
Don't be that manager who leaves the club in shambles. Nurture some young talent before you head out to pasture. Recommend a successor you trust (unless you secretly want to see the club implode without you, which is also a valid strategy). Basically, don't be Darth Vader leaving the Death Star in shambles.
Leaving on bad terms? Fine, fine. But at least don't poach all your star players on your way out the door. Have some decency, man!
Step 3: Embracing Your Retirement (Unless You're Planning a Comeback)
So you're officially retired. Now what? Here are some ideas:
- Become a pundit: Offer your "expert" (read: wildly inaccurate) opinions on every match.
- Start a YouTube channel: Teach the next generation of managers your "revolutionary" tactics (spoiler alert: it probably involves a lot of screaming and 4-4-2 formations).
- Finally get around to finishing that novel about the time you almost signed Messi.
Feeling the itch to get back into the game? No judgment! Just make sure your new club isn't a direct rival of your old one. Nobody likes a glory-hunter (except maybe for José Mourinho, but that's a whole other story).
FAQ: Retiring Like a Champ (or at Least Not a Chump) in FIFA 23
How to announce your retirement? Go to the "Club" tab, select "Manager Profile," and then choose "Retire at End of Season."
How to leave a good impression? Promote youth players, recommend a good successor, and avoid public tantrums.
How to plan a dramatic exit? Leak info to the press, demand a transfer for yourself, or just lose a bunch of games and get sacked (not recommended).
How to spend your retirement? Punditry, YouTube channel, writing a tell-all book - the possibilities are endless (well, almost).
How to avoid a comeback? Resist the urge to create a new manager save right away. Give yourself some time to relax (or perfect your tiddlywinks skills).
