So You Inherited a Screamin' Chateau: A Review of "How to Sell a Haunted House" by Grady Hendrix
Let's face it, inheriting a house is a dream come true... unless that house comes with a set of unwelcome spectral roommates. Such is the predicament facing Louise and Mark in Grady Hendrix's latest horror-comedy masterpiece, "How to Sell a Haunted House."
This book isn't your typical haunted house snoozefest. We're talking next-level creepy crawlies (both living and dead) that will have you checking under the bed and behind the shower curtain for weeks. But Hendrix masterfully blends the scares with laugh-out-loud moments, making this a chilling good time.
 |
| How To Sell A Haunted House Book Review |
The Plot: Siblings vs. Spooks (and Each Other)
Louise, the ever-responsible older sister, just wants to unload this spooky Charleston abode and get on with her life. Mark, the brooding younger brother, well, let's just say his plans for the house are a little less realtor-friendly. As they sift through mountains of their parents' creepy doll collection (because of course there's a creepy doll collection), unsettling secrets about the house and their own fractured family history come bubbling to the surface.
QuickTip: Slow down if the pace feels too fast.
Warning: This book may induce doll-related nightmares. Just sayin'.
The Haunting: More Than Your Average Ghostly Groans
Forget the flickering lights and disembodied voices. This house has a whole orchestra of the undead, each with their own unique brand of spectral torment. From vengeful pirate ghosts (because, Charleston) to some seriously messed up puppet shows, Hendrix keeps you guessing about what kind of spooky shenanigans will unfold next.
Tip: Read carefully — skimming skips meaning.
This book is perfect for: Fans of "The Haunting of Hill House" who also appreciate a good dark chuckle.
The Verdict: A Must-Read for Horror Fans (and Anyone Who's Ever Had Messy Family Drama)
"How to Sell a Haunted House" is a winner. It's scary, it's funny, and it explores the complexities of family relationships in a way that's both relatable and chilling. So, grab a flashlight (and maybe a stuffed animal for comfort), and dive into this haunted house romp. You won't regret it (unless you're easily spooked by dolls... then maybe tread carefully).
QuickTip: Look for repeated words — they signal importance.
 |
Final Rating: 5 out of 5 possessed puppets
How-To FAQs on Selling Your Own Haunted House (Because Apparently It's a Thing)
1. How to Know if Your House is Haunted: Look for the classics: disembodied voices, flickering lights, furniture rearranging itself in the middle of the night. Also, if you ever hear creepy giggling coming from the dollhouse, that's a pretty good sign.
QuickTip: Read a little, pause, then continue.
2. How to Get Rid of Ghosts (According to the Book): This one's a bit fuzzy. Louise and Mark try everything from ghost hunters to psychics, with mixed results. Maybe offering them a nice cup of tea and a listening ear would work?
3. How to Disguise Ghostly Activity During Open Houses: Febreze liberally to mask any spectral odors. Loud music can drown out disembodied groans. And for Pete's sake, get rid of the creepy dolls!
4. How to Price a Haunted House: Honesty is the best policy, right? Just be upfront about the resident spooks and slash the price accordingly. You might attract a niche market of ghost-hunting enthusiasts.
5. How to Sleep at Night After Reading This Book: Invest in a security system (and maybe some sage for good measure). Also, avoid looking in the mirror for too long – you never know what might be lurking behind you.
 |
