So Your Beloved Croaked It: How to Announce Their Grand Exit in the Chicago Tribune (and Maybe Avoid Raising Eyebrows)
Let's face it, folks, losing a loved one is a bummer. But hey, life goes on, even if your favorite uncle's snoring won't be gracing the dinner table anymore. And you know what goes along with life... commemoration! That's where the granddaddy of Chicago news, the Chicago Tribune, comes in. They've got a whole section dedicated to letting the world know your dearly departed shuffled off this mortal coil (although they might use slightly less colorful wording).
But before you whip out your best eulogy in Comic Sans and hit "submit," there are a few things to consider. Here's your guide to navigating the Tribune's obituaries without accidentally turning it into a hilarious (and possibly morbid) meme.
Choosing Your Tribute: Death Notice or News Obituary?
The Death Notice: Think of this as the "Cliff's Notes" version of your loved one's life. It's a short, factual announcement that typically includes:
- The Basics: Name, age, date of passing, residence
- The Family Stuff: Spouse, kids, grandkids (basically, anyone who might throw a pie at you if you forget them)
- The Service Deets: When and where the funeral/wake/Viking ship send-off is happening (optional)
News Obituary: This is where you can unleash your inner Shakespeare (or at least your inner high school yearbook editor). It's a longer piece that details your loved one's accomplishments, hobbies (competitive stamp collecting, anyone?), and maybe even a few funny anecdotes.
Here's the tricky part: News obituaries are by editorial decision, meaning the Tribune gets to pick and choose which ones they publish. So, unless Uncle Fred was secretly the inventor of the spork or foiled a bank robbery dressed as a squirrel, a news obit might be a tough sell.
Pro Tip: If you're unsure, start with a death notice. It's a guaranteed way to share the news and doesn't require Pulitzer-worthy prose.
Okay, I Want a Death Notice. How Do I Submit That Bad Boy?
There are two ways to submit a death notice:
-
The Old-Fashioned Way: Call their classified advertising department. They'll walk you through the process and answer any questions you might have. Just be prepared to answer questions about font size and whether you want a fancy border with tiny cherubs (because, options!).
-
The Interweb Does It All (Almost): Head over to the Chicago Tribune's Death Notices [invalid URL removed] page. They have a handy dandy form you can fill out with all the necessary info.
Word to the Wise: Proofread like your grandma's depending on it! You wouldn't want your otherwise touching tribute to accidentally say "Uncle Bob is survived by his goldfish, Bubbles, and a questionable collection of porcelain frogs."
Death Notice Do's and Don'ts: A Crash Course
Do:
- Keep it factual and concise.
- Proofread. We mean it. Seriously.
- Include a photo if you have one (bonus points if it's not from their awkward high school yearbook phase).
Don't:
- Write a novel. Seriously, there's a word limit for a reason.
- Get creative with the truth (unless your loved one was a notorious prankster, then maybe a little embellishment is okay...within reason).
- Forget to mention the funeral/service details if there is one.
There you have it! Now you can commemorate your loved one in the Windy City's most distinguished newspaper (and hopefully avoid any unintended hilarity). Remember, a death notice is a way to celebrate a life well-lived, even if it means shedding a few tears along the way. Just maybe avoid mentioning Uncle Bob's unfortunate toupee incident...
