Dying to Catch the Astros? Your Guide to Witnessing Baseball Greatness (or at Least Avoiding Yard Work)
Ah, the Houston Astros. Stealing hearts (and maybe some signs) since, well, whenever they started stealing hearts. You, my friend, have been bitten by the Astros bug. But fear not, fellow baseball enthusiast, for this guide will illuminate the path to watching our beloved 'Stros dominate the diamond... or at least flail heroically.
Attending a Game: Minute Maid Park Shenanigans
Embrace the Deep Freeze (or Molten Lava, Depending on the Season): Minute Maid Park boasts a retractable roof, which is fantastic because Houston weather is basically a coin toss between arctic blast and fiery furnace. Pro Tip: Pack accordingly, unless you enjoy the thrill of questionable fashion choices induced by sweating through your winter coat.
Navigating the Food Court: A Labyrinth of Delicious Decisions: Minute Maid Park boasts some of the finest ballpark cuisine this side of the Mississippi (or maybe even that other side, I haven't done an exhaustive taste test). Burgers that could feed a family of four? Check. Deep-fried everything your cardiologist would weep over? Absolutely. Funnel cakes the size of your head? You betcha. Warning: May lead to extreme satisfaction and potential pants-related anxieties.
Astros Fans: A Unique Blend of Die-Hard and Delightfully Eccentric: You'll be surrounded by a passionate bunch. Some folks will know every obscure stat, while others are there for the seventh-inning stretch singalong. There's a guy in a full spacesuit every other game, and that's just how we roll in H-Town.
The Homebody's Haven: Watching the Astros from the Comfort of Your Couch
Cable? Schmable! Streaming Services to the Rescue: For those who prefer air-conditioning and the freedom to wear pajamas all day, fret not! There are a multitude of streaming services that can bring the Astros right to your living room. Just be sure to check blackout restrictions, or your neighbors might get an eyeful of "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" instead.
MLB.TV: Your Ticket to Out-of-Market Ecstasy: Living outside of Houston? No worries, my friend! MLB.TV lets you stream every Astros game (except for the blacked-out ones, of course) from the comfort of your couch. Just be prepared for slight delays, which can be a recipe for hilarious confusion when your phone buzzes about a home run before you've even seen the pitcher wind up.
Social Media: The FOMO Zone: Can't watch the game live? Fear not, for Twitter will be your friend (or frenemy, depending on the score). Live updates, questionable takes from random sports bloggers, and Astros fans with questionable takes... it's a wild ride, but you won't miss a beat.
So there you have it, folks! Your one-stop guide to becoming a connoisseur of all things Houston Astros. Now get out there (or stay in there, no judgement) and witness baseball brilliance (or at least some entertaining strikeouts). Go Astros!
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