You, The GM in Your Living Room: How to Dominate the 2023 NFL Draft (Even Though It's Already Over)
The 2023 NFL Draft may be a distant memory (did someone say Bryce Young? swoon), but fear not, armchair quarterbacks and fantasy football fanatics! This guide will turn your couch into a war room, prepping you for the next draft like a seasoned pro (or at least someone who didn't accidentally draft a kicker in the first round).
How To Work The Nfl Draft 2023 |
Step 1: Embrace Your Inner Guru
Forget yoga and kale smoothies. To channel your inner Mel Kiper Jr., you need a steady diet of mock drafts, player profiles, and enough scouting reports to wallpaper your basement. Think Sisyphus, but instead of a boulder, you're rolling a knowledge snowball of epic proportions.
QuickTip: Read a little, pause, then continue.
Subheading: Pro Tip - Don't Be That Guy There's a difference between being informed and obnoxious. Avoid the urge to mansplain the draft to your friends who just want to munch on chips and watch the drama unfold. There's a time and a place, and that place probably isn't your buddy's barbecue.
Step 2: Mock Draft Nirvana
Tip: Focus on clarity, not speed.
The internet is your oyster, my friends! Dive deep into the ocean of mock drafts. It's like playing fantasy football, but without the risk of your significant other judging your questionable draft choices (too late for that, huh?). Analyze trends, see who the experts favor, and then completely disregard it all when your heart falls in love with a small-school wide receiver with questionable hands.
Subheading: Trust Your Gut (But Also Do Your Research) There's a reason they call it a "draft," folks. It's unpredictable! Don't be afraid to take a chance on a sleeper pick, but don't let homerism cloud your judgment. Research is key, even if your gut screams "This tiny defensive end with the name of a mythical creature is the answer to all our problems!"
Tip: Every word counts — don’t skip too much.
Step 3: Draft Day Shenanigans
The big day (or rather, three days) has arrived! Grab your lucky jersey, your most questionable draft-day snacks (who says gummy bears and lukewarm coffee aren't a winning combo?), and settle in for the ultimate test of your NFL knowledge.
Subheading: Prepare for Emotional Rollercoaster Your dream pick gets snatched up right before your turn? Your team makes a trade so confusing it makes your brain hurt? Buckle up, buttercup! The draft is a whirlwind of emotions, so channel your inner zen master and remember, there's always next year.
Tip: Reread slowly for better memory.
How To... FAQs
How to impress your friends with your draft knowledge? Drop a casual "I've got a feeling about this [insert obscure player's name] kid" and see if they bite. Bonus points for detailed knowledge of their college stats.
How to avoid a draft-day meltdown? Deep breaths and a healthy dose of self-deprecation. Remember, you're not actually an NFL GM, so it's okay to laugh at yourself if things go south.
How to deal with your significant other's eyerolls? Distraction is key. Offer endless refills on their favorite beverage, promise to do the dishes for a month, or maybe just agree to watch that rom-com they've been wanting to see.
How to cope with the post-draft slump? Retail therapy? Obsessively refreshing sports news sites? All valid options. Just remember, the next season is always right around the corner!