Channel Your Inner Founding Father: How to Write Like George Washington (Without the Dentures)
Ah, George Washington. The man, the myth, the legend...and the seriously eloquent dude. His letters crackle with authority, wisdom, and the occasional passive-aggressive jab at Benedict Arnold (seriously, that guy could turn a picnic sour). But how, you ask, can a mere mortal like yourself capture that magic touch? Well, fret no more, because this guide is about to turn you into a wordsmith worthy of Mount Vernon's stationery closet.
1. Dust off Thy Olde English Dictionary (But Not Literally)
While you won't need to break out quill and parchment just yet, brushing up on some 18th-century vocabulary can't hurt. Words like "prithee" and "forsooth" might be a bit much, but consider swapping "very" for "exceedingly" or "difficult" for "arduous." Pro Tip: Don't go overboard. You still want people to understand what you're saying.
1.a) A Word About Slang (Because Washington Had None...Probably)
Let's be honest, George Washington wouldn't have been caught dead using "lit" or "fire." Stick to formal language and avoid contractions whenever possible. "It is" sounds much fancier than "it's," don't you think?
2. Embrace the Power of the Colon (But Not Like a Text Message)
Colons were Washington's punctuation soulmate. He used them liberally to introduce lists, elaborate on points, and sound incredibly important. So next time you have a sentence that could use a little oomph, consider a well-placed colon. Just remember, using too many will make you look like a snake with a superiority complex.
3. Channel Your Inner Stoic (Think Action Hero, Not Crying at Rom-Coms)
Washington wasn't exactly known for letting his emotions run wild. Strive for a sense of control and decorum in your writing. Express yourself clearly, but avoid gushing or getting overly familiar.
3.a) Okay, But Can't I Be a Little Funny?
A touch of wit is fine, but Washington's humor was more dry than a week-old turkey sandwich. A sly observation or a well-timed metaphor are your friends here. Avoid anything that could be construed as a LOLcat meme.
4. Practice Makes Perfect (Especially Since You're Not Actually Using a Quill)
The more you write in this style, the more comfortable you'll become. Try writing a mock letter to a friend, a social media post in a historical voice, or even a grocery list that sounds like it was penned by a Founding Father ("I require a dozen eggs, and let them be both fresh and ample in size!").
Remember: Don't take yourself too seriously. Washington might have been a brilliant leader, but he probably wouldn't have minded a good chuckle.
FAQ: How to Write Like George Washington (The Cliff Notes Version)
How to: Use fancy vocabulary (but not too fancy). Quick Answer: Dust off your thesaurus, but keep it classy.
How to: Use colons like they're going out of style. Quick Answer: Colons add emphasis, but don't overdo it.
How to: Be a stoic badass (emotionally speaking). Quick Answer: Keep your writing controlled and avoid gushing.
How to: Can I add a dash of humor?
Quick Answer: A touch of wit is okay, but keep it dry and sophisticated.
How to: Get better at this whole Founding Father thing? Quick Answer: Practice! Write letters, social media posts, even grocery lists in this style.