Conquering California Adventure: A Hilarious Hitchhiker's Guide to the Best Rides
So you've wrangled yourself a ticket to the happiest place on earth (with slightly better burritos), Disney California Adventure Park! But with a park full of enough thrills and spills to leave you feeling like a cartoon character yourself, where do you even begin? Fear not, intrepid adventurer (or should we say, theme park enthusiast?), for I, your trusty (and slightly sarcastic) guide, am here to help you navigate the whirlwind of California Adventure.
Hold on to Your Chimichangas: Thrill Rides That Will Knock Your Socks Off (Unless They're Disney Socks You Paid $20 For)
- Radiator Springs Racers: Buckle up, sunshine! This high-octane adventure throws you behind the wheel (well, almost) for a race through the charming world of Cars. Just remember, lightning McQueen doesn't cry after a little bump and grind, so you shouldn't either. Bonus points: You might even spot Mater practicing his backwards driving skills!
- Guardians of the Galaxy – Mission: BREAKOUT!: Get ready to blast off with a dose of irreverent humor and a drop that'll make your stomach do a zero-gravity freefall. Just be sure to thank Rocket for the "wonderful" experience... maybe with a snickers bar.
- Incredicoaster: Calling all superhero wannabes! This high-speed coaster throws you into the heart of a Parr family adventure, with enough twists and turns to make even Elastigirl dizzy. Word to the wise: Don't wear your best hero cape on this one – it might get a little windblown.
Family Fun: Rides That Won't Make You Green (Unless You're the Hulk)
- Toy Story Midway Mania!: Calling all sharpshooters! Grab your virtual spud gun and test your skills against classic midway games, Pixar-style. Just don't get too competitive – no one likes a sore loser (looking at you, Buzz Lightyear).
- Monsters, Inc. Mike & Sulley to the Rescue!: Shrink down to the size of a scream canister and join Mike and Sulley on a hilarious romp through the monster world. Pro tip: Keep an eye out for boo – she's got a knack for causing chaos!
- The Little Mermaid ~ Ariel's Undersea Adventure: Dive deep (well, not literally) into the world of The Little Mermaid on a whimsical musical tour. Just try not to sing along too loudly – Ursula might hear you.
Relaxation Stations: Rides for When Your Feet Are Saying 'Uncle'
- Soarin' Around the World: Take a breathtaking (and nausea-free) trip around the globe, all from the comfort of a hang glider simulator. Just be careful not to drool on the person in front of you – the majestic view of the Matterhorn might be a little too real.
- Cars Land: Take a leisurely stroll through this Radiator Springs replica, complete with a Cozy Cone Motel serving up delicious treats (fuel for later thrills, perhaps?). Don't forget: You have to get your picture taken with a life-sized Lightning McQueen – it's the law (sort of).
Remember, this is just a taste of the awesomeness that awaits at California Adventure! So go forth, conquer those rides, and make some magical memories (and maybe buy a few souvenirs to commemorate your bravery... or your complete lack of it on some of those more intense rides).
