Houston: It's Bigger Than Beyoncé's Hair, But Not All Areas Are #Flawless
Ah, Houston. The Bayou City. Home to rodeos, NASA's coolest missions (sorry, Florida), and enough humidity to make your hair its own weather system. But like a perfectly fried piece of Texas catfish, Houston has its not-so-great sides.
So you're moving to Houston, huh? Great choice, sugar! But before you buy that ten-gallon hat and a pair of boots (essential, obviously), let's talk about some neighborhoods that might not be the best fit for your inner cowboy (or cowgirl).
Areas to Dodge Like a Texas Two-Step Gone Wrong
1. Sunny Side Up... with Crime
Sunnyside sounds delightful, doesn't it? Like a place where kittens frolic and lemonade flows freely. Not quite. Sunnyside boasts a crime rate that could make even Bonnie and Clyde blush. Here's the lowdown (pun intended): avoid this area unless you're packing serious superhero skills (or at least a good security system).
2. MacGregor: More McGregor and Less Fast Food
MacGregor might have some grand houses, but don't let the facade fool you. Crime rates here are higher than a Texan's hat on a windy day. Plus, the public schools ain't exactly winning awards (think participation trophies for everyone). This area is best left unexplored, unless you're a fan of dodging metaphorical bullets.
3. Sharpstown: Not So Sharp on Safety
Sharpstown used to be a dreamy neighborhood, but somewhere along the way it took a turn for the worse. Crime, particularly violent crime, is higher here than a rodeo clown on a unicycle. So, unless you're auditioning for a starring role in an action movie, this ain't the place to find your happy ending.
4. Getting Lost in the "Far North": Not in a Fun Way
The "Far North" might sound intriguing, all mysterious and wild west-like. But the truth is, it's just far. Far from everything, including safety. This area has a higher crime rate than a politician's promise-keeping record. So, if you're not a fan of long commutes and dodging trouble, best to steer clear of the Far North.
But Hey, Don't Sweat It!
Houston's a sprawling metropolis, and there are plenty of fantastic, safe neighborhoods to choose from. Do your research, use a crime map, and talk to locals. With a little planning, you'll find the perfect spot to put down your roots, metaphorical ten-gallon hat, and boots included.
Remember, Houston's a friendly city, but even the friendliest folks know to avoid a bar fight. These areas might be a bit rough around the edges, but that doesn't mean the whole city is like that. So come on down, explore, and find your own piece of Texas paradise!
