Ditch the Cattle Car, Dude: A Hilarious Look at (bygone) ATSF Luxury Train Travel Between Chicago and LA
Ah, the bygone era of the ATSF – for those not down with railroad lingo, that's the Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe Railway. Back in the day, they weren't just hauling cattle across the dusty plains (although they did that too). No siree, the ATSF offered luxury train travel that would make today's cramped airplanes weep into their complimentary peanuts.
Imagine this: You're not crammed in next to a screaming baby or a suspiciously sweaty businessman. Instead, you're reclining in a plush armchair, sipping a martini that would make James Bond himself say, "Now that's a martini." Outside your window, the vast expanse of the American Southwest unfolds – think technicolor mesas, not the dubious stains on your airplane tray table.
Accommodations Fit for a Silver Screen Star (or at least a Really Fancy Accountant)
Forget about fighting for overhead bin space. On an ATSF luxury train, your luggage had its own palace. Imagine a dedicated porter who whisked your bags away, leaving you free to focus on the important things – like perfecting your nonchalant pose as you sip your martini.
But the real star of the show was your sleeping quarters. We're not talking about a glorified coffin on wheels. These were compartments worthy of a Vanderbilt. Plush beds, rich wood paneling, and maybe even a fainting couch in case the scenery got too darn spectacular (it often did).
Dining Fit for a King (or at Least a Hungry Socialite)
Forget about airplane food that could double as a science experiment gone wrong. On an ATSF luxury train, mealtimes were events. We're talking white tablecloths, gleaming silverware, and enough courses to make your stomach sing (and maybe your wallet weep, but hey, that's the price of luxury, baby).
Imagine being served a perfectly cooked steak while hurtling through the desert at sunset. The only thing more romantic would be if Humphrey Bogart showed up to share your champagne (though you might have to fight Marlene Dietrich for him).
Is ATSF Luxury Train Travel Around Today?
Sadly, my friend, the ATSF railway merged with another company back in the 90s, and those luxurious train cars are most likely collecting dust in some railroad museum. But fear not, fellow adventurer! Amtrak still offers a journey on a similar route, the Southwest Chief. It might not quite have the same Gatsby-esque flair, but it's a darn sight better than crammed into a metal tube with questionable air quality.
So, there you have it. A glimpse into the glamorous (and slightly bygone) world of ATSF luxury train travel. If you ever get a chance to experience something similar, take it! Just remember to pack your finest threads, your most nonchalant attitude, and an appetite for adventure (and maybe some Dramamine, just in case).
