You and Your Existential Texans Dread: It's Channel Quest Time!
Ah, Texans fans. Another glorious day in paradise, another chance to witness... well, who knows what exactly. But hey, at least we get to argue with the refs from the comfort of our own couch! But before the questionable calls and the inevitable heartbreak, there's a crucial hurdle to leap: figuring out which channel the dang game is on.
Fear not, fellow Houston faithful, for I, your intrepid guide through the ever-shifting sands of NFL broadcasting, am here to shed light on this most existential of questions.
Channel Chaos: A Hilarious Odyssey (Spoiler Alert: It's Not That Hilarious)
First things first, let's establish a key fact: it's May 7th. There ain't no Texans game happening today. They're busy bulking up (or maybe prepping their barbecue skills) for the upcoming season.
However, I can definitely help you prepare for the glorious autumn of discontent – er, I mean, Texans football – when the regular season rolls around.
Here's the not-so-secret secret: Texans games are broadcast on a rotating carousel of channels, depending on the day and some mysterious forces at the NFL's headquarters. CBS and FOX are your most likely suspects, but occasionally the game might be banished to the NFL Network wilderness, requiring a special decoder ring (or, you know, a cable subscription).
Pro Tip: Bookmark the Houston Texans official website's "Ways to Watch" page [Houston Texans Coverage | Watch - HoustonTexans.com]. It's your cheat sheet to deciphering the channel chaos.
Don't Be a Channel Chump: Prepare for the Season
So, while there's no Texans game gracing your screen today, you can use this downtime to:
- Brush up on your drinking game rules. Every incompletion by Davis Mills? That's a shot! (Please drink responsibly, folks.)
- Research the best places to buy tissues. You'll need them.
- Practice your most creative cheers. Because sometimes, sheer enthusiasm is all we have left.
Here's to the upcoming season, Texans fans! May it be filled with... well, let's just say entertainment.
