So You Wanna Escape the Golden State? A Totally Serious Guide to Out-of-California Colleges (with Dad Jokes Included)
Living in California is pretty sweet. Beaches, sunshine, celebrities you might accidentally bump into at the grocery store (probably not a good thing). But hey, wanderlust is a thing, and maybe you're looking to ditch the avocado toast for some good old-fashioned apple pie (do they even have apple pie outside California?). Whatever your reason, venturing out of state for college can be an epic adventure.
But first things first: where do you even start?
There are literally thousands of colleges out there, all vying for your brilliant mind (and, let's be honest, your tuition money). Don't worry, we're not gonna throw you into this academic abyss without a life raft.
Here's your cheat sheet to navigating the wonderful world of out-of-California colleges (affectionately nicknamed "OOC" by those in the know, which sounds way cooler than "out-of-state").
Step 1: Escape from Reality California (Okay, Maybe Not That Dramatic)
- Consider the Climate: Are you a perpetual puddle person who thrives in the rain? Maybe the Northeast is calling your name! Or perhaps you dream of snowy wonderlands? Bundle up, buttercup, because there are plenty of colleges with epic ski trips just a bus ride away.
- Think About Your Vibe: Do you crave the hustle and bustle of a big city or the quiet charm of a college town? Pro Tip: Don't underestimate the power of a good squirrel population on a scenic campus.
- Size Matters (Maybe): Do you want to feel like a big fish in a small pond, or get lost in the anonymity of a massive university? There's no right or wrong answer, just gotta find your academic Goldilocks zone.
Dad Joke Intermission: Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! groans We warned you about the dad jokes.
Step 2: Embrace the Research Rabbit Hole
Now that you have a vague idea of what you want, it's time to hit the internet (or, you know, crack open a college guide if you're feeling old school). Here's what you should be looking for:
- Academics: Does the college offer programs that interest you? Don't be afraid to get specific!
- Location: Is it close enough to visit your folks for free laundry (we all know that's a thing), or far enough away for a true escape?
- Campus Life: Do they have a killer Quidditch team (doubtful, but hey, a man can dream)? Or maybe a strong emphasis on a cappella groups that sing entirely about pizza? (More likely!)
- Cost: Buckle up, buttercup. Out-of-state tuition can be a doozy. Financial aid is your friend, so research scholarships and grants like it's your job (because, well, getting into college kind of is).
Dad Joke Bonus Round: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! Okay, we'll stop now.
Step 3: Don't Be Afraid to Ask for Help
- Guidance Counselors: These folks are basically college admissions ninjas. Use them!
- Teachers: They might have gone to a cool out-of-state school and can give you the inside scoop.
- Online Forums: Connect with other college hopefuls venturing out of state. Just be wary of internet strangers (safety first, people!).
Remember: Choosing a college is a big decision, but it should also be fun! Explore your options, laugh a little (even at our terrible dad jokes), and trust your gut. After all, you're about to embark on an incredible journey.
P.S. If you do decide to stay in California, that's cool too. We won't judge (much). Just promise to send us some decent burritos when you graduate.
