The Big Apple: A Guide to Stuff So Fun You'll Forget About That Slice of Questionable Pizza You Just Ate (Probably)
Ah, New York City. The city that never sleeps (except for maybe that time everyone collectively decided to take a nap during the Great Blizzard of '87). A concrete jungle where dreams are made of... and pigeons are plentiful. But fear not, intrepid traveler! This concrete jungle is also a playground of epic proportions, bursting with enough things to do to make your head spin faster than a rogue pretzel vendor on roller skates (those guys are committed).
###???? (???? =???? (???? = k� f� b� li?o) Conquer the Classics (Without Feeling Like a Tourist Drone)
Tip: Don’t just scroll to the end — the middle counts too.
Sure, you could just tick off Times Square, the Empire State Building, and the Statue of Liberty like everyone else. But where's the fun in feeling like a lemming following the herd? Here's how to do the classics with a twist:
Tip: Reread the opening if you feel lost.
- Times Square: Dodge the costumed Elmo and high-five Spider-Man instead. Maybe he'll give you a discount on his web-shooters.
- Empire State Building: Channel your inner King Kong and give the tourists a good scare by waving your arms dramatically at the top. (Note: Security might not appreciate this suggestion).
- Statue of Liberty: Rent a tiny boat (don't worry, life jackets included) and pretend you're on a daring rescue mission to save Lady Liberty from... pigeons?
Pro Tip: Pack comfy shoes. Seriously, those city sidewalks are no joke.
Tip: Reread if it feels confusing.
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| What Fun Things To Do In New York |
????? (????? = b� w� gu?n m�n b� = Museum Strolling)
New York boasts museums that could swallow entire countries whole (well, maybe not countries, but definitely small islands). Here are a couple of off-the-beaten-path options to flex your intellectual muscles:
QuickTip: Scroll back if you lose track.
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- The Museum of the Dog: Because who doesn't love celebrating our furry best friends in all their slobbery glory?
- The Morbid Anatomy Library: Not for the faint of heart, but perfect for those who like a little darkness with their culture. Think Victorian medical oddities and creepy artifacts.
???? (???? = w�n shang ji�ng l�n = Night Falls)
The city that never sleeps truly comes alive after dark. Here's how to paint the town red (or yellow, or green, depending on your chosen beverage):
- Catch a Broadway Show: Belt out show tunes with reckless abandon, even if you can't carry a tune in a bucket.
- Rooftop Bars: Sip fancy cocktails with a view that will knock your socks off (hopefully not literally, those drinks ain't cheap).
- Comedy Clubs: See rising stars and established veterans tickle your funny bone. Just remember, heckling isn't always appreciated (unless you're really, really witty).
Word to the Wise: Pace yourself, New Yorker. There's always something going on, but you don't need to do it all in one night.
How to conquer the New York City concrete jungle:
- How to get around? The subway is a cheap and efficient option, but cabs are good for late-night adventures (just agree on a fare beforehand).
- How much money should I bring? New York can be pricey, so pack your wallet and be prepared for some sticker shock. But hey, you're on vacation, splurge a little!
- What should I pack? Layers are your friend. The weather can be unpredictable, and you never know when you might need to ditch the jacket for a rooftop bar crawl.
- Do I need a special adapter for my electronics? Nope, the US uses the same plugs as most of North America.
- Is it safe? New York City is generally safe, but like any big city, keep your wits about you and be aware of your surroundings.
So there you have it, folks! Your guide to navigating the glorious chaos that is New York City. Now get out there and explore! Just try not to get lost (and if you do, just ask a hot dog vendor for directions. They practically know the city better than anyone).
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