The Great Houston's Caper: Where'd the Restaurants Go?
Ah, Houston's. A haven for expense accounts, mahogany booths, and waiters who could recite the daily specials with the eloquence of Shakespeare (though maybe not the tights). But lately, folks have been scratching their heads and wondering: What happened to Houston's restaurants? Did they get beamed up by aliens? Eaten by a rogue gang of hungry hipsters? Let's dive into the mystery, holster our sporks, and emerge, hopefully, with some answers.
From Humble Beginnings to Hillstone Heights
Houston's started out in the mid-70s, a lone burger joint with a dream (and possibly a vat of their famous onion rings). Business boomed, locations multiplied, and soon Houston's was as ubiquitous as disposable menus. But then, something strange happened. The name started disappearing faster than napkins after a plate of their legendary ribs. Whispers arose of a nefarious plot, a corporate rebranding Gone Wrong! Apparently, Hillstone Restaurant Group, the bigwigs who own Houston's, decided the whole "chain" thing wasn't posh enough. So, they started turning Houstons into Hillstones – a move about as subtle as a mariachi band at a library.
The Plot Thickens (Like Their BBQ Sauce)
Now, some folks might say, "Hey, a rose by any other name..." But here's the thing: Hillstone has a bit of a... different vibe. Think white tablecloths instead of worn leather. Prix fixe menus instead of bottomless iced tea. Suddenly, a casual lunch at Houston's turned into a night out that required a small loan. Where was the good ol' American comfort food? The place you could take your family without needing a second mortgage?
Houston, We Have a Problem (But Maybe Not for Everyone)
Look, if you dig the swanky Hillstone scene, more power to you. But for those of us who miss the familiar warmth of Houston's, well, there's a certain… emptiness. It's like losing a culinary old friend, the one who always knew your order and never judged your side of ranch dressing.
So, What's the Verdict?
The mystery of the disappearing Houstons remains unsolved. Did they shed their old name like a caterpillar transforming into a fancy butterfly? Or was it a more sinister plot, a corporate bait-and-switch designed to lure us in with affordable steaks and then hit us with the white tablecloth bill shock?
One thing's for sure: Houston's, wherever you are, we miss you. We miss the predictability, the familiar faces (both on the menu and behind the counter), and the knowledge that a good meal didn't have to break the bank. Maybe someday you'll return, perhaps with a slightly more affordable menu and a touch less… Hillstonyness. Until then, we'll be over here, reminiscing about the good ol' days and dreaming of bottomless iced tea.
