The Curious Case of Brian Houston: From Megachurch to...What Now?
Brian Houston, the once-celebrated founder of Hillsong Church, has been about as visible as a fugitive emu lately. So, what's the former pastor been up to since his dramatic exit from Hillsong? Buckle up, because it's a wild ride.
Ministry on Mute: The Hillsong Shuffle
Let's rewind a bit. Remember the allegations? The lawsuits? It all got a bit too spicy for Hillsong, and Houston stepped down in 2022. But you know Brian, ever the optimist, he wasn't about to throw in the towel on the whole "motivational speaking" thing.
Hitting the Road: Brian Houston's World Tour...of Smaller Venues
Since then, there have been whispers of Houston hopping from church to church, mostly in the U.S. One minute he's spotted in Texas, the next he's whispering inspirational messages (allegedly) to penguins in a Californian zoo (don't ask).
Writing the Next Bestseller (Probably)
Now, there have also been rumors of a tell-all autobiography in the works. Titled "The Houston Hustle: From Pulpit to Punchline" (working title, of course), this literary masterpiece is sure to be a riveting read...well, maybe.
So, Where Exactly is Brian Houston?
The truth is, no one knows for sure. Maybe he's writing screenplays in Hollywood (think "Hillsong: Bounce Back" - the inspirational comeback story we all need). Maybe he's on a self-discovery retreat in the Himalayas (avoiding media inquiries, of course). Or maybe, just maybe, he's training for an Elvis impersonator competition (hey, the man's gotta have some hobbies).
Stay Tuned for Further Developments
One thing's for certain: Brian Houston's future is an open book (or should we say, a tell-all autobiography in the making). We'll be sure to keep you updated on his next move. In the meantime, feel free to place your bets in the comments below. What do you think Brian Houston is up to these days?
Disclaimer: This is purely satirical content. No penguins were harmed in the making of this post (as far as we know).
