Houston Texans Record: A Tale of Two Seasons (and a Whole Lot of Tears)
Ah, the Houston Texans. A franchise that evokes a rollercoaster of emotions, from the thrill of a surprise victory to the despair of watching a perfectly good punt sail directly into the stands. So, you're curious about their record? Buckle up, buttercup, because it's a wild ride.
The Glory Days (if You Can Call Them That)
The Texans haven't exactly been a powerhouse throughout their history. They've had their moments, sure. Those early years were like a kid splashing around in the shallow end of the NFL pool. Fun? Absolutely. Competitive? Debatable. But hey, at least they weren't drowning (looking at you, 0-16 Browns).
They even had a few forays into the magical land of...wait for it...winning seasons!** Three years in a row, from 2011 to 2013, they managed to snag 9 wins each. Not earth-shattering, but enough to give Texans fans a taste of that sweet, sweet playoff victory...except they never quite made it that far. But hey, at least they had J.J. Watt causing nightmares for opposing quarterbacks, right?
The Dark Side (and It's Not the Force)
Then...well, then things went south faster than a fumble on a rainy day. Losersville became their permanent residence, and the only highlights were the unintentional kind, like that time a rogue grill wandered onto the field. Seriously, Texans, you guys okay over there?
The past few seasons have been a masterclass in disappointment. DeAndre Hopkins, their star wide receiver, got traded for a bag of peanuts (allegedly). Deshaun Watson, their once-promising quarterback, got tangled up in legal issues (yikes). And the wins? They've been about as common as a sighting of Bigfoot at a Texans game.
So, What's the Actual Record?
Alright, alright, enough with the dramatics. You came here for stats, not sob stories. As of today, May 8th, 2024, the Houston Texans have a career record of 152 wins, 202 losses, and 1 tie. Not exactly the kind of stat that'll make headlines, but hey, at least it's not negative...right?
A Glimpse of Hope (Maybe?)
Look, there's always hope, folks. The draft is coming up, and maybe, just maybe, they'll snag a diamond in the rough. Perhaps a new coaching staff will work some magic. Or, hey, maybe that rogue grill will evolve sentience and lead them to victory.
One thing's for sure, being a Houston Texans fan is an exercise in unwavering optimism. So here's to the next season, and the never-ending quest for that elusive Lombardi trophy. Just don't forget the tissues. You might need them.
