The Great Houston Geriatric Gamble: What Plagues Us Mere Mortals in 2023?
Ah, Houston. The city of humidity, heart, and apparently, a never-ending game of roulette with your health. You never quite know what funky germ is lurking around the corner, waiting to wrestle you to the ground in a snotty showdown. But fear not, fellow Houstonians, for I, your intrepid investigator of all things sniffly and sneezy, have embarked on a quest to uncover the current champion of the "What Sickness is Going Around?" throwdown.
Round 1: The Usual Suspects
First on the docket, we have the classics. Influenza (aka the Flu) is like that annoying relative who shows up every holiday season, determined to make you miserable with its body aches and chills. This year, the flu decided to throw a surprise rager after the holidays, leaving many a Houstonian feeling like they wrestled a yeti. Strep throat also made an unwelcome appearance, reminding us all why gargling with salt water is a low point in human existence.
Round 2: The Mystery Guest (It's Probably Allergies)
Then there's the ever-present allergies. Houston's got a love affair with pollen, and this year that love turned into a full-blown sneeze-fest. You could barely tell if someone was crying from a breakup or just battling a rogue cedar fever attack. Remember that time you thought you had the flu, but it turned out you were just allergic to, well, everything? Classic Houston.
Round 3: The Unexpected Challenger (It Might Also Be Allergies)
And let's not forget the respiratory syncytial virus (RSV). This little guy likes to target the wee ones, turning their cute sniffles into full-blown congestion concerts. Here's a tip: if your child sounds like a malfunctioning kazoo, RSV might be the culprit.
The Champion? It's a Tie!
So, who takes the coveted title of "Grossest Sickness of Houston 2023?" The answer, my friends, is a glorious tie! Depending on the month, the weather, and the phase of the moon, you could have been battling any (or all) of these delightful ailments.
The Moral of the Story
The moral of the story? Wash your hands, folks. Carry tissues. Maybe invest in a hazmat suit. And hey, if you do get sick, commiserate with your fellow Houstonians. After all, there's nothing quite like bonding over a shared experience of feeling utterly miserable. Here's to hoping 2024 brings us a year of robust health (and maybe a little less allergy-induced weeping).
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