So You Think You Saw a Noodle in the Valley? A Guide to L.A.'s Slithery Residents
Ah, Los Angeles. The land of dreams, movie stars, and...snakes? That's right, folks, beneath the glitz and glamour slithers a surprising variety of legless lizards. But don't worry, cast aside those Indiana Jones visions of vipers slithering out of your pool float. Most of our local snakes are about as dangerous as a deflated pool noodle (although some pool noodles can inflict serious pool-party embarrassment, that's a story for another time).
The Non-Venomous Neighborhood Watch: Who's Got Your Back (Yard)
- The California Kingsnake: This handsome fellow is a local celebrity, sporting a black and white banded outfit that would make a skunk jealous. Don't let the name fool you, this king pins rodents, not people.
- The Gopher Snake: This chill dude is the largest snake in California, but don't let his size fool you. He's more interested in munching on gophers (hence the name) than bothering humans.
- The Coachwhip: Imagine a super-sized earthworm with a vendetta against lizards. That's the Coachwhip. These speedy noodles can reach up to 8 feet and love patrolling open spaces.
Fun Fact: Did you know the California Kingsnake is sometimes called a "milksnake"? This comes from an old wives' tale that they steal milk from cows. Let's be honest, that udderly ridiculous.
The Rattlesnake Roundup: A Reminder to Respect Your Elders (and Venomous Scales)
Now, we can't have a snake guide without mentioning the guys with the built-in maracas, the rattlesnakes. Los Angeles does have a few species, but sightings are uncommon. Still, it's good to be aware. Here's the golden rule: If you see a rattle, give it a little wiggle room.
Pro Tip: Rattlesnake bites are serious medical emergencies. If you suspect a bite, call 911 immediately.
So You've Encountered a Local Noodle: Here's What to Do
Relax, dude! Most snakes are more scared of you than you are of them. Here's how to handle a slithering sitch:
- Admire from Afar: Appreciate the snake's natural beauty from a safe distance (think National Geographic, not National Hug-a-Snake Day).
- Give them Space: Snakes just want to be left alone. Slowly back away and let them go about their business.
- Call in the Experts: If the snake is in your house or seems aggressive, call animal control. They're the wranglers to the rescue!
Remember, snakes are an important part of our ecosystem. They keep rodent populations in check and add a touch of the wild to our urban jungle. So, the next time you see a snake in L.A., don't scream, grab a selfie (from a safe distance, of course). You might just meet your new, legless neighbor.
