Hold Your Horses (and Stetson Hats)! Is There Even a Texans Game Today?
You Texans fans out there (and the curious souls who wander into NRG Stadium for the nachos), let's get this existential dread out of the way first: Is there even a football game happening today?
Because let's be honest, with the way this season has been going, it wouldn't be entirely surprising if the Texans decided to pack it in for a surprise team turtle race or a game of hopscotch on the 50-yard line.
But fear not, fellow Texans enthusiasts (or should we say, "enthusiasts by circumstance"?). We've got some good news and some...well, news.
Buckle Up, It's Time for a Deep Dive (Maybe)
Here's the thing: it's currently May 9th, 2024. May. Football season? Not quite. We're smack dab in the middle of the offseason, a time usually reserved for questionable draft picks, hilarious social media fails (we're looking at you, inflatable Texans mascot incident of '23), and that nagging feeling that maybe, just maybe, next year will be different.
Now, if you're the kind of fan who likes to live life on the edge (or simply can't bear the thought of a Texans-less Thursday night), then there's always the possibility of some retro Texans action. Dust off your Andre Johnson jersey, fire up the ol' DVR, and relive the glory days (or at least a season that wasn't entirely soul-crushing).
But Wait, There's More! (Maybe Not About Football)
Here's the really good news: since there's no Texans game tonight, you've got a golden opportunity to do something truly radical. Maybe catch up on that book you haven't touched since training camp started. Call a friend who doesn't flinch when you mention "Schaub." Heck, you could even take a walk outside and see what the sunshine feels like (it's a real thing, we promise).
Who knows, maybe this unexpected break from Texans football will spark a new hobby, a newfound appreciation for synchronized swimming, or simply the realization that there's a whole world out there beyond Sundays at NRG Stadium.
Just remember, Texans fans: there's always next season. And who knows, maybe this break will give the team the time they need to, well, you know, not lose every single game.
