The Great Houston Snowpocalypse: A Historical Inquiry (Because Let's Face It, We Don't Get Much Practice)
Ah, Houston. The land of scorching summers, surprise hurricanes, and...snow? That's right, folks, the Bayou City has a weird relationship with the white stuff. We spend most of our lives basking in sunshine, so when snowflakes do decide to grace us with their presence, it's a full-blown municipal meltdown.
But when was the last time we had a snowball fight that didn't involve shaved ice? Buckle up, because we're about to embark on a thrilling (well, maybe mildly exciting) journey through Houston's not-so-extensive history of snowfall.
It Came, We Saw, We Sweated Nervously (Because We Didn't Own Snowpants)
Let's dispel the myth first: Houston does get snow. But let's be honest, it's about as common as finding a decent parking spot downtown during lunch hour. Technically, snowfall has been recorded a measly 33 times since 1895 [insert shocked emoji here]. That's less frequent than your grandma remembering your birthday without Facebook reminding her.
The Greatest Hits (Because Houston Snow is a Rare Enough Phenomenon to Warrant a "Greatest Hits" Album)
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2009: The "Everything's Bigger in Texas" Snowstorm: This was the year Houston went full-on winter wonderland. We're talking a whole inch of snow on December 4th. Schools shut down, bread shelves were ransacked faster than you can say "snow apocalypse," and everyone whipped out their pool floats (because hey, if you can't sled, you improvise, right?).
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2018: Breaking All the Wrong Records: Apparently, Mother Nature was feeling feisty in 2018. We saw trace amounts of snow fall on November 13th, making it the earliest snowfall ever recorded in Houston. Look, we'll take what we can get, even if it's just a dusting that melts faster than your New Year's resolutions.
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1932: The "Hold My Beer" Snowstorm (Because Apparently, We Used to Get Crazier Weather): This one goes out to all the history buffs out there. Way back in 1932, Houston saw snow in March. Not exactly prime snowman-building weather, but hey, at least it kept spring break interesting.
So, When Will It Snow Again?
That, my friends, is the million-dollar question (or maybe the ten-dollar snowball, depending on how commercial we get with this whole thing). Predicting Houston weather is about as reliable as predicting your uncle's dance moves at a wedding reception. It could be next year, it could be in fifty years, it could be never (although with climate change, who knows?).
But hey, here's the upside: the lack of snow means more pool days, more flip-flop opportunities, and less shoveling your driveway (because let's be real, who even owns a shovel in Houston?).
In the meantime, keep an eye out for those surprise flurries. And if you do see snow, document it like your life depends on it. Because in the land of eternal sunshine, a snowball fight is a story for the ages.
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