You vs. 7,999,999,999 Others: Could You Squeeze into NYC?
Ever felt like your apartment is the size of a postage stamp? Well, buckle up, because we're about to discuss cramming the entire human population (a cool 8 billion) into the concrete jungle that is New York City. Yes, you read that right. 8 BILLION OF US.
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| Can 8 Billion People Fit In New York City |
So, Can We All Become New Yorkers?
The answer, my friends, is a resounding YES! Let's face it, compared to the vast sprawl of planet Earth, NYC is basically a pimple on a cosmic butt cheek. Sure, it might feel like you're living in a sardine can during rush hour, but that's just because New Yorkers have a certain... enthusiasm for personal space.
Here's the nitty-gritty: New York City clocks in at a mighty 303 square miles. If we gave everyone a cozy (and possibly slightly claustrophobic) one square foot to stand in, we'd need a total of 8 billion square feet. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy! In fact, there'd even be a little wiggle room leftover for, you know, essential activities like elbowing someone out of the way to snag the last bagel.
Tip: Read at your own pace, not too fast.
But wait, you might be thinking, "wouldn't that turn NYC into a giant, sweaty mosh pit?" Well, yes, there would definitely be some logistical hurdles. Imagine the queue for the bathroom!
Living the Dream (Maybe): Challenges of a Global NYC
Forget subletting your apartment – we're talking about sub-sub-sub-letting entire buildings. Food trucks would need to dispense meals in industrial-sized vats. And forget ever flagging down a cab – you'd be better off investing in roller skates.
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Look, it wouldn't exactly be a walk in the park (unless that park is Central Park, which would definitely be several times more crowded than usual). But hey, at least you'd never be lonely!
Here's a bonus perk: With everyone living in such close quarters, international relations would be a breeze. Just imagine settling a political dispute over a friendly game of chess in the park (between dodging flying hot dog vendors, of course).
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The dream, right?
FAQ: NYC for 8 Billion
How to find your apartment? Look for the blinking neon sign that says "Studio (shares welcome)".
QuickTip: Reading twice makes retention stronger.
How to get around? Teleportation highly recommended. Failing that, invest in some good ol' fashioned elbow grease.
How to avoid arguments with your neighbors? Learn basic sign language.
How to deal with FOMO (fear of missing out)? Don't worry, with 8 billion people around, there's no way you'll ever miss anything.
How to maintain a sense of humor? Practice in the mirror every morning. You'll need it.
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