Sunshine State Rhubarb: A Quest for the Forbidden Pie Plant
Florida, the land of eternal sunshine, beaches, and questionable tourist fashion choices. It's a paradise for most things, but what about rhubarb? That tart, tangy friend to strawberries in pies and crumbles? Can this cool-weather crop withstand the fiery wrath of a Florida summer? Buckle up, my friends, because we're about to dive into the hilarious (and slightly tragic) world of rhubarb in the Sunshine State.
The Rhubarb Reality Check: Not Built for the Tropics
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Let's not sugarcoat it (pun intended). Rhubarb thrives in chilly nights and cool springs, the exact opposite of Florida's pool-party-every-day climate. Our warm winters leave this poor plant confused and stunted, yearning for a sweater it'll never get.
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But Wait! There's a Florida-Fueled Plot Twist!
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Hold onto your flip-flops, because there's a glimmer of hope! While Florida might not be rhubarb's BFF, you can technically grow it with some serious TLC. Here's how to turn yourself into a rhubarb-wielding Florida renegade:
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- Think Annual, Not Forever: Forget about those picturesque, perennial rhubarb patches of the north. In Florida, treat rhubarb like a fancy seasonal visitor. You'll get one shot at glory, so make it count!
- Location, Location, Location: Sunshine is great, but a sunburnt rhubarb is a sad rhubarb. Pick a spot with dappled shade or consider using shade cloth for those brutal Florida afternoons.
- Cool It Down, Dude: Mulch heavily around the plants. Think of it as a personal air conditioner for your precious rhubarb, keeping the soil nice and chilly.
Be Prepared for a Rhubarb Rumba: It's a Tricky Dance
Growing rhubarb in Florida is a bit like teaching your pet alligator to roller skate: impressive if you pull it off, but definitely not for the faint of heart. Be prepared to adjust your expectations and shower your rhubarb with attention.
Rhubarb FAQ: Your Burning Questions Answered (Quickly!)
- How to plant rhubarb in Florida? You can try seeds or crowns (the root part) – both have their challenges. Seeds take longer but are more suited to our climate. Crowns might struggle without a proper chilling period.
- How much sun does rhubarb need in Florida? Partial shade is your best bet. Think dappled sunlight or morningsun only.
- How do I harvest rhubarb in Florida? Only harvest the stalks, not the leaves (those are poisonous!). Aim for thick, red stalks in the spring.
- How often should I water rhubarb in Florida? Regularly! Especially during the hot months, keep the soil moist but not soggy.
- Can I eat the leaves of rhubarb? Absolutely not! Rhubarb leaves are toxic, so stick to the yummy stalks.
So, there you have it. Growing rhubarb in Florida is possible, but it's a task for the determined gardener with a sense of adventure (and a good sense of humor). If you're up for the challenge, good luck! And remember, even if your rhubarb harvest is small, you can still brag to your friends about being a Florida rhubarb rebel.
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