Conquering the Colossal Can Opener: A Totally Serious Guide to Beating the London Monitor in Wolfenstein: The New Order
Ah, the London Monitor. A charming fellow with a penchant for lasers and a bad case of the Mondays. This hulking mechanical monstrosity stands between you and sweet, sweet victory in Wolfenstein: The New Order. But fear not, Blazkowicz wannabes! With a dash of cunning, a smidge of strafing, and a whole lotta laser love, you'll turn this oversized toaster into scrap metal in no time.
Step 1: Dodge This, You Rusty Bucket!
First things first: respect the Monitor's firepower. This ain't the time to play peek-a-boo with a walking Gatling gun. The arena is littered with handy dandy tunnels. Use them! Think of yourself as a particularly grumpy badger – pop out, take a potshot, then dive back underground before the Monitor decides your face makes a lovely target practice zone.
Pro-Tip: Don't be shy about using the health and armor pickups scattered throughout the tunnels. You're gonna need all the juice you can get.
Step 2: Laser Love and How to Use It
Your main weapon in this mechanized mosh pit is the glorious Laserkraftwerk (or LKW for short). This beauty packs a punch stronger than Blazkowicz's right hook. But here's the catch: it needs to charge before you can unleash laser doom. So patience is key, grasshopper.
Important Note: Don't waste your precious laser fire on the Monitor's metal hide. It'll just tickle him.
Step 3: Eye of the Robot, You Nameless Wonder
The key to cracking this mechanical walnut lies in its glowing red eye. Wait for this bad boy to open, then unleash a single, focused blast from your LKW. This will trigger a chain reaction more satisfying than a perfectly timed grenade toss.
Heads Up: Once the eye gets zapped, the Monitor will unleash a volley of missiles. Dodge like a greased weasel, or those things will turn you into a fine paste.
Step 4: Taking Out the Trash (Literally)
After the missile tantrum, the Monitor will open up its missile launchers. These glowing canisters are your new targets. Unload your LKW into them with extreme prejudice. Repeat this delightful process until all the missile launchers are nothing but smoldering husks.
Victory Lap (Almost): With the missile launchers out of commission, you're now in the home stretch.
Step 5: Going for the Jugular (or the Engine, Whatever)
Here's the money shot, Blazkowicz. Once the missile launchers are toast, the Monitor will be vulnerable. Seize this opportunity! Sprint under the giant metal monstrosity and look straight up. You'll see a glowing weak point – the engine core. Blast it with your LKW. Rinse and repeat this glorious act of mechanical defiance until the London Monitor joins the scrap heap.
Congratulations! You've just shown that rusty robot who's boss! Now go celebrate with a stein of the finest Panzerhund piss… I mean, beer.
Burning Questions Answered: London Monitor FAQ
How to Dodge the Monitor's Attacks?
Use the tunnels! They're your best friend in this fight.
How to Use the Laserkraftwerk Effectively?
Focus on the eye and the engine core. Patience is key – let it charge before unleashing laser fury.
How to Deal with the Missiles?
Dodge the initial volley, then target the glowing missile launchers with your LKW.
How to Damage the Engine Core?
Get under the Monitor and shoot the glowing weak point with your LKW.
How to Celebrate Victory?
Find some loot, grab a beer (or Panzerhund piss, if you're feeling adventurous), and bask in the glory of your triumph!
