So, You Want to Count Dukes? A Guide to London's Most Elusive Royalty (and Where to Find a Decent Pasty)
Ah, London. A city steeped in history, brimming with palaces, and crawling with... dukes? Well, not exactly crawling, but there are a surprising number of these posh fellas lurking about. But before you dust off your monocle and head out on a duke hunt, let's get the facts straight.
How Many Dukes Are There In London |
How Many Dukes Are There, Really?
This is where things get a bit tricky. Unlike pigeons (which, let's be honest, are everywhere), dukes are a rarer breed. There are around 30 Dukes in the whole of the UK, and that includes the fancy five who are part of the royal fam.
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Now, London being a grand and important city, you might think it would be Duke Central. But hold your corgis! Dukes aren't exactly required to live in the capital. They could be chilling in their country estates, sipping tea and plotting, well, whatever dukes plot these days.
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So, the answer is: we don't know exactly how many dukes are in London. There's no official Duke Directory (although, that's a fantastic idea for a niche app).
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But I Really Want to See a Duke! Where Should I Look?
If you're desperate for a ducal sighting, your best bet is to hang around posh areas like Kensington, Mayfair, or St. James's. These neighborhoods are prime real estate for the aristocracy, so you might just spot a duke popping out for a spot of afternoon tea (Earl Grey, naturally).
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Alternatively, you could try attending a society event (cracking the invitation code might be a different story). Or, if you're feeling truly adventurous, you could stake out Buckingham Palace and hope to catch a glimpse of a royal duke on his way out for a carriage ride. Just don't get trampled by the tourists.
Important side note: Even if you do see a duke, don't go running up and asking for an autograph. Dukes are people too (fancy people, granted) and deserve a bit of privacy. A respectful nod in their direction is all you need.
Duke Spotting: Essential Tips
- Dress the Part: Channel your inner Sherlock Holmes with a tweed jacket and a deerstalker hat. Bonus points for a magnifying glass (but please, no actual stalking).
- Brush Up on Your Duke-Speak: Learn a few posh phrases like "splendid day" or "jolly good show." Dukes appreciate a well-placed bit of poshness.
- Carry Pastries: Dukes are human (sort of) and susceptible to the allure of a good pasty. A strategically placed pastry offering might just win you a ducal audience.
Disclaimer: This is not a guaranteed method for spotting a duke. Pastries may not work on all dukes.
FAQ: How to Be Duke-Adjacent
- How to act like a duke? Stand tall, speak clearly, and avoid using slang. Remember, dukes don't say "like" very much.
- How to dress like a duke? Think tweed, tailored suits, and waistcoats. Don't forget a pocket watch for that extra touch of sophistication.
- How to talk to a duke? Address them as "Your Grace." Be polite, respectful, and avoid asking about their tax breaks.
- How to become a duke? This one's tricky. Unless you marry into the aristocracy, your best bet is to win the lottery and buy a really impressive top hat.
- How to avoid accidentally offending a duke? Don't mention the revolution. Trust us.
So there you have it! Your guide to navigating the ducal world of London. Now get out there and see if you can spot a duke (or at least find a decent pasty).
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