The Great Fire of London: A Toast...With Reservations (Mostly About the Lack of Toast)
The Great Fire of London. A roaring inferno that licked its way through the city like a mischievous dragon with a serious case of heartburn. It's etched into history, a tale of flames, fleeing citizens, and enough ash to make Mary Poppins question her love of chimneys. But amidst the chaos, one burning question always arises: how many folks actually became crispy critters?
The official body count: About as exciting as watching paint dry
Tip: Keep your attention on the main thread.
Here's the thing: official records claim a measly six people shuffled off this mortal coil thanks to the fire. Six! That's fewer than the number of times you've accidentally set off the smoke alarm trying to cook the perfect omelet. Seems a bit fishy, doesn't it?
QuickTip: Focus on what feels most relevant.
Historians throwing shade (and possibly kindling): The "real" number
QuickTip: Pause to connect ideas in your mind.
Historians, those lovely truth-seekers, are having none of this six-person picnic. They point out the raging inferno, the frantic escape, and the, ahem, somewhat lax record-keeping of the time. Their suspicion? The real number is likely in the hundreds. Makes a bit more sense, right? Imagine trying to count sausages after a particularly enthusiastic barbecue.
Tip: Skim once, study twice.
 |
So, why the low official count? Here are some theories, mostly involving questionable hats:
- The Great Fire Fashion Show: Everyone was too busy admiring their fireproof hats (not a real thing). Apparently, according to some fanciful tales, Londoners were sporting headwear woven from asbestos (which, by the way, is not exactly fireproof and also terrible for your lungs). This, of course, is about as likely as finding a comfortable pair of skinny jeans.
- The Forgetful Five-Oh: Firefighters were more interested in napping than counting. Let's face it, firefighting in 1666 wasn't exactly a high-tech operation. More likely they were running around with buckets and bewildered expressions.
The truth? Somewhere between "not a big deal" and "oh dear, that's a lot of people"
The most likely answer? The true number is somewhere between the official six and the historian's hundreds. The fire was massive, but building materials back then weren't exactly tinder-dry. Many Londoners likely escaped with their lives, even if they lost their homes and all their possessions (except maybe that ironically fireproof hat).
How To: Fire Safety Fun! (Because even though this fire happened a long time ago, fire safety is still important!)
- How To: Spot a fire? Don't be a hero! Get outta there and call the fire department (those guys are way better equipped than a bucket these days).
- How To: Have a fire escape plan. Because panicking in a smoky situation is not exactly a recipe for success.
- How To: Test your smoke alarms regularly. A chirping smoke alarm is a much better wake-up call than a roaring inferno.
- How To: Keep flammable materials away from heat sources. Your oven is for cooking food, not igniting your curtains (although flaming curtains would make a very dramatic Instagram story).
- How To: Teach your kids about fire safety. Because knowledge is power, and knowing how to escape a fire is pretty darn powerful.
 |
