The Great Mowing of 1349: London's Population Takes a Tumble
Ah, 1349. A simpler time, some might say. Less traffic, for one. But let's not sugarcoat it, folks. This was the year the Black Death waltzed into London like an unwelcome house guest who decided to redecorate with buboes and chills. Not exactly a time for a knees-up at the pub.
So, how bad was it? Really bad. We're talking biblical proportions of "thither thou goest, death shall follow" kind of bad. Historians don't have Tinder for time travel, so exact numbers are a bit fuzzy, but we're looking at somewhere in the ballpark of 40-60% of Londoners shuffling off this mortal coil. That's a lot of folks trading their pints for a dirt nap.
The Daily Doom Count: Educated Guesses (because nobody was counting when they were too busy fleeing for the hills)
Now, you history buffs might be wondering, "But Gemini, that just tells me a total! I want daily dirt!" Well, buckle up, history seeker, because we're about to get speculative. Given the overall death rate and the speed the plague tore through the city, estimates suggest London might have been losing hundreds, maybe even thousands of souls a day at its peak. Imagine the grim reaper working overtime, clocking in extra shifts just to keep up.
Side effects may include:
- Mass grave overcrowding
- A booming market for essential plague-doctor beaks (seriously, those things were terrifying)
- A complete lack of enthusiasm for public dancing (social distancing at its most extreme)
How Fun! But Seriously, Folks...
Look, the Black Death wasn't exactly a picnic. It was a horrific time in history. But hey, a little humor can help us cope with the grim realities of the past, right?
How To FAQs:
How to avoid the Black Death in 2024? Easy! Modern medicine and hygiene go a long way. Plus, black rats are way less common these days (phew!).
How to know if you have the Black Death? Unless you have a time machine, you probably don't. But if you're experiencing flu-like symptoms, swollen lymph nodes, and a general feeling of "oh no," see a doctor...the non-plague kind.
How to prepare for a future plague? Wash your hands regularly, don't cuddle random rodents, and maybe invest in a good hazmat suit (just in case).
How to cheer myself up after learning about the Black Death? Distract yourself with cat videos! Those fluffy bundles of joy are guaranteed to melt away any plague-related blues.
